When you’re pregnant, stress can feel unavoidable. It comes from everywhere; the mental toll of physical discomfort, the financial burden, and the more existential worries that come with most pregnancies. And it’s not harmless, either. You can blame stress for higher rates of preterm birth, hypertension and preeclampsia  as well as long-term cardiovascular risk. Not to mention, a host of lasting postpartum mental health challenges that are still underserved by the healthcare system.

Where pregnancy stress actually comes from

And while women sometimes build support systems to protect them from as much stress as possible, more and more often, that stress is surprisingly coming from those very friends, family and resources that are supposed to make pregnancy easier. When my maternal health company Emagine polled pregnant women, we found that stress from “fear-mongering” medical advice and unhelpful opinions from other people on “how to do things” ranked among the top concerns.

Ever heard conflicting information about if you should or shouldn’t eat spicy food during pregnancy? How about that you shouldn’t exercise; that it’s best to take it easy? One piece of advice I’ve personally gotten is that if you raise your arms too much or too often in the late stages of pregnancy, the umbilical cord will twist and your baby will have problems. This kind of misinformation is common in both friend and familial circles, as well as the unregulated corners of social media. And it’s stressing women out. 

The rise of the “pregnancy pundit”

People are hungry for advice, and will settle for what are basically “pregnancy pundits” – friends, family or voices that seem like authorities but are really just loudly opinionated. And by generating more noise, they’re not just creating more stressful pregnancies, they’re making it harder for the real expertise to reach the women that need it.

Over generations, our culture has normalized not listening to women in the medical setting, adding stress to an already vulnerable process. Pregnant women say that they don’t feel listened to. They don’t feel heard. Often, they only get 7 to 15 minutes of face time with their doctor every appointment. The result is anxiety about the care they are receiving, their care journey and whether they are making the right decisions to have the best outcome possible.  

That’s where these “pregnancy pundits” come in. Most times, they’re well-meaning. They see themselves as passing along 1st-hand experience or secret knowledge that curbs anxiety. But their passionate insistence, combined with bad advice, sometimes causes more confusion and stress for the very women they’re trying to help. 

How social media amplifies pregnancy misinformation

On social media, this same problem is amplified. Anonymous experts propagate unproven remedies for the discomforts of pregnancy as well as unscientific “fixes” for infertility issues (Remember the Mucinex Challenge?). People then clamor to these resources not realizing that online, usually the loudest voices prevail, not the most informed ones.

As someone who has experienced two high risk pregnancies and preeclampsia twice, and built an AI-powered app to hopefully help women like me, the stakes couldn’t be more clear. To address misinformation and stress, women need validated information at their fingertips, tools that can help stem the tide of bad information that comes from friends and family as well as TikTok, Instagram and Facebook. But that also means protecting ourselves from bad advice, asking a few important questions to make sure the people and resources we trust are actually making our lives less stressful.

Four questions to ask before you trust any pregnancy advice

Where did this information come from?

Just because info comes from a loved one or has a lot of likes, shares or positive comments on TikTok doesn’t mean it’s valid. The online and offline worlds are filled with medical lies or half-truths that are either simply misunderstandings or purposefully take advantage of women’s vulnerable emotional states to drive engagement or sell products. Instead, stick to organizations like ACOG and SMFM. Their content might not be as viral or entertaining, but it’s reliable, scientifically proven, and free.

Why should I trust this?

There’s a major difference between researching the truth or going down rabbit holes on social media to validate what suits us most. It’s also a mistake to believe that just because something can be watched, understood and digested in a 6-second IG Reel that it’s somehow more considered. In health and medicine, trust needs to have a higher standard and often there are no shortcuts to the knowledge that grants you peace of mind.

What other sources back this up?

If you hear something on social or from a family member who is not a trained medical professional, run that information by your doctor. If you feel compelled to search something on ChatGPT or Claude, run any information you find by your doctor too. Always verify with a reliable source before moving forward. You can love and respect  your friends, family and support team while still protecting yourself too.

Is my provider a benefit or part of the problem?

Being pregnant comes with plenty of questions that might seem silly or uncomfortable, especially when you’re getting a lot of unproven advice. But it’s important that you feel comfortable bringing those questions to your maternal health provider. If you don’t, follow that curiosity and ask yourself why. If you don’t feel heard or if you need more time with your provider, consider adding a doula or midwife to your team so that you can get your questions answered instead of resorting to AI or social media.  

Pregnancy is lonely for so many. That’s why people sometimes choose community over science or data-driven information. In some circles, familial opinions and ideas seem to have even less weight than influencers do. That’s why resources need to meet patients where they are, providing them with information and ways to feel community at the same time. 

OBGYNs may be overworked and the healthcare system may also be under-resourced, unable to give patients the time and attention that might give women peace of mind. But if more women had access to 24/7 tools to help them separate the valuable knowledge from the dangerous noise, at least they could make one of life’s most vulnerable times a little less stressful.