Toddlers are a wild ride. They’re old enough to have opinions, verbal enough to pepper in words like “actually” and small enough to go fully boneless in the cereal aisle when overruled. But with the right frame of mind and a little patience, we can outsmart them.

A recent Threads post from @jayonathequeen asked parents for their best “unhinged advice” for raising toddlers, and the replies poured in. Some came from toddler room teachers, longtime nannies and even doctors. Most came from moms who’ve logged countless hours negotiating with toddlers and consulting their pediatricians. We’ve all earned our stripes, and sometimes there’s nothing like raw mom-to-mom advice.

Many of the suggestions are surprisingly hinged. And certainly no one’s judging. 

Toddler hacks for kids who run off

Anyone who has turned around in a parking lot to find an empty space where a small person used to be knows this particular brand of panic. The thread’s most-liked reply, with nearly 18,000 hearts, went straight at the escape artist problem, and the moms underneath it kept the ideas coming.

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Credit: @thriving_out_of_spite, @norcalcaro and @sksargeant via Threads

One mom’s solution doubled as entertainment.

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Credit: @champersstamers via Threads

(If you try this one, stick with a foil balloon, since popped latex is a choking hazard for little kids.)

Toddler hacks for picky eaters

Toddler palates are a moving target. The food they inhaled one day is suddenly disgusting the next. A couple of moms found that a little creative branding goes a long way, at the table and beyond.

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Credit: @g_elena97 via Threads

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Toddler hacks for everyday routines

Brushing teeth, putting on shoes, surviving the checkout aisle. The daily stuff is where most battles originate, and, in turn, where moms get the most inventive. A common thread here is giving toddlers a sense of control while you cleverly steer the ship. 

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Credit: @parentnest.digital via Threads

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Credit: @hai.llls via Threads

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And sometimes the smartest move is picking your battles.

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Credit: @cryssinikki via Threads

Toddler hacks for tantrums and big feelings

When a meltdown hits, plenty of moms agreed the first move is regulating yourself. Toddlers take their emotional cues from us, so the calmer we stay, the faster they come back down.

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From there, a little misdirection can work wonders.

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Credit: @thenerdyderma via Threads

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That sniff trick is a cousin of the viral “Jessica” trick, where a parent interrupts a meltdown by calmly calling for someone who isn’t there. Pediatrician Dr. Madison Szar told Motherly that “What’s that smell?” works just as well, since the surprise is what breaks the loop. Bonus points for the deep breaths.

And for the moments when you’re the one about to lose it, one mom has a suggestion that sounds unhinged until you hear her out.

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Credit: @kaitlyn_e.a via Threads

(Soft landings only.)

Yes, it’s OK to fib a little

Then there are the white lies. One bedtime fib stood out as particularly clever.

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Credit: @kellywills901 via Threads

Having raised two kids, one in college and one in high school, I can attest that I lied to them. A lot. The car won’t start unless you’re buckled. It’s against the law to take your shoes off in the store. The toy store is closing, so we have to leave now. I promise you they are both 100% trustworthy, honest people.

Meet the absurdity with a little of your own

When I was a new mom, just 21 and wildly out of my depth, I had a mentor with a toddler of her own. A yoga teacher who became a mom in her early 40s, she was a free spirit who didn’t mother through the lens of anyone else’s scrutiny. It was wild and refreshing.

She was willing to be inconvenienced so her son could explore and held firm when exploring teetered toward danger. She also leaned into the absurdity. At one point she’d somehow acquired a shopping cart, and when her son got grumpy, she’d load him in with a rug, some toys and their cat (I’m not kidding) and march around the neighborhood with the dog following behind.

Toddlers are ridiculous, and we all know it. Sometimes you have to meet the moment with the same.