Bliss visits—A story of miscarriage

She’s here. Bliss has arrived. It has been ages since she’s made the trip. Quarrel, Angst, and Labor are all here daily without invitation and we will happily ignore them for this short visit with Bliss. This time she brought a gift, a baby.

I am filled with so much glee, I think I may float. Bliss is with me. She is there when I look at the reflection and remind myself, you’re a mom again. She is there when I announce to him, you’re a dad again. She is there when the boys jump up and down with big brotherly celebrations. She is there for our first ultrasound. And as abruptly as she has joined us, she is gone.

Angst is insisting on his attendance. Rudely, interrupting our lives and capitalizing on our thoughts. Hope is here, teasing us with plans and “what ifs.” I take her to the hospital and find that Angst is waiting for me in the room. I hold my breath and my ears are filled with my heart’s acoustics. The doctor’s eyes tell me, Hope has left.

We are all missing Bliss. My boys have questions. They wonder why she was so fleeting or if she’ll be back. My family tries to invite her, with comforting gestures and sweet messages. But the truth is, she cannot be commanded and is anything but predictable. It’s what makes her special. For now, we can be grateful for each other and welcome Bliss when she is ready to visit again.