I’m biracial and raising a biracial son: Here’s what I hope for his future

It’s hard to believe less than 60 years ago it was illegal to interracially marry in the United States. 

Despite the 1967 Supreme Court decision, Loving v. Virginia, which declared state anti-miscegenation laws unconstitutional, it’s only been 23 years since the last U.S. state, Alabama, repealed its laws.

I am biracial, considerably multiracial if my 23andMe ancestry report has a say. I am a blend of heritages, cultures, and histories—largely French, German, Nigerian, Ghanaian, British, and Irish, among others. Yet, in a world that’s quick to categorize and create social constructs, I am Black and White. 

While I’ve lived in various places such as Texas and Georgia, I grew up and formed my initial views of the world as a biracial girl from very humble beginnings in the eighth largest city of Iowa, namely, Waterloo.

Similar to my parents, I married interracially and several years later, we were blessed with a bright, curious and vibrant son who is now a charming toddler. 

The birth of our son has heightened my awareness of what it means to be multiracial. As I reflect on my personal perspective of growing up biracial, here are three things I hope for my biracial son and the many multiracial children in the world.

What I want my biracial son to know

1. Embrace your full and authentic self  

I encourage you to give yourself permission to embrace ALL OF YOU. To my son with his sandy blonde soft curls, “like Dad” skin, bright smile and adventurous, yet shy spirit, you don’t have to pick a side, even if society tries to put you in one. 

2. Research, acknowledge and respect your blended heritages, cultures and history 

Don’t leave your history, heritages or cultures in the dark and don’t rely only on school to teach you the full context. For our son, I hope we can teach you all we know and have experienced, and that you seek out, explore and embrace your roots as you grow up. You may not like everything you find like the history of slavery and systemic racism, but you should know it. 

3. Hold space for difficult conversations and perspectives

Somewhere in life, you may be confronted with a situation where you’re treated differently based on your complexion or heritage. And, you’ll need to learn to process emotions while remaining calm, determine if it’s worth addressing, and if so, hold space to hear the opposing perspective, too. It can be difficult, but it’s worth learning how to address, consider perspectives, make peace and/or move on.

To my dear son and the many multiracial children (and their parents), while there’s still work to be done, and much to celebrate, I wish you an all-encompassing authentic and fulfilled life with no limitations.