Tori Roloff’s honest advice: Don’t ask a pregnant woman if she’s having twins, please

When I was 34 weeks pregnant a woman approached me at a restaurant to tell me I looked great…but she didn’t stop there. “There’s two in there, right?” she asked while pointing at my belly.

Luckily, the woman was right. I was, in fact, carrying twins. But I still couldn’t help but wonder why she felt entitled to ask me that question—what if I was only pregnant with one baby?

It’s something so many moms—of singletons and multiples—have faced. You can consider yourself lucky if you’ve managed to make it through a pregnancy without hearing something along the lines of, “Wow! How many do you have in there?” or, “Any day now, huh?”

But Tori Roloff is not on board with this…and we’re right there with her.

The Little People, Big World star, who is expecting her second child, shared a raw Instagram post about how it really feels when someone presumptuously asks a pregnant woman if she’s having multiples.

“I have had a harder time accepting my body this go around. I’ve gotten bigger a lot faster than I did with [my first child] Jackson and I’ve become a lot more insecure,” Tori writes. “Hearing people ask me if I’m sure it’s not twins definitely does not help (for all our sakes—don’t ever ask a woman this question. Like ever). It’s been hard to really enjoy this pregnancy because I’ve let my own body image issues get in the way.”

This is honestly heartbreaking—because every woman deserves to feel beautiful in her own skin, especially when she’s creating another life. As we all know, getting used to a pregnant body can throw even the most self-assured among us for a major loop. Things change so dramatically and so rapidly that sometimes we look in the mirror and don’t even recognize ourselves.

Props to Tori for getting real about what that really feels like…and how unsolicited comments can make it even harder. Yes, her husband is a famous fraternal twin, but that doesn’t mean comments about the size of her bump don’t hurt.

Fellow moms are sharing their own experiences with offensive comments on Tori’s post. “Happened when I was pregnant with my first. At 6 months people were asking if I was “going to pop” and if it was twins, etc. it’s incredible the stupid stuff people say,” one woman writes. “Now I’m shocked by nothing. Unless someone says ‘congratulations you’re beautiful’ don’t listen to them. Because, congratulations you ARE beautiful!”

Tori ends her post with a message that all women need to hear. “For all those women out there—pregnant or not—you need to hear this just like I do: You’re beautiful, you’re strong, and dang it love yourself no matter what,” she writes. “I know someone besides just me needs to hear that today. So excuse me while I go try my best to live out these words and continue growing a freaking human being.”

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• Chrissy Teigen: It’s not okay to ask someone if they’re pregnant