11 important phrases that help you connect with your child’s teachers

The start of a new school year is about more than just new backpacks, new friends or a new routine to adjust to. It’s also about your kiddos transitioning to new classrooms and new teachers. Which just means that you will also be prepping for a new round of parent teacher meetings.

Having a good relationship with your child’s teacher can be very important. Their teacher can give you insights into your child’s school behavior, so you might already be wondering, how to write an email to a teacher from a parent.

Laying the groundwork for a good relationship with your child’s teacher now can help you and your child for the entire school year. When you establish a relationship with the teacher, you become more approachable, and they are more likely to communicate with you. But, how do you even begin the conversation? Well, we’ve got a few conversation starters to get you going.

Here are 11 meaningful ways to establish healthy parent teacher relationships

1. “How do you prefer to be contacted?”

You will inevitably need to contact your kid’s teacher at some point this year. Asking upfront whether they prefer email or a phone call can save you from waiting days to hear back on an unanswered question. Save time by also letting them know how you can best be reached.

2. “Do you need anything for the class?”

Many classroom budgets are limited, so if you’re able, ask if there is anything small you can contribute. Even if your classroom is virtual this year, there may still be supplies or software that your support can help purchase.

3. “How can I help?”

One of the best ways to connect to your child’s teachers and administration is to volunteer. Let them know your availability and ask if there is anything you can do for the school.

Related: To my child’s teacher: Thank you doesn’t seem enough

4. “I’m concerned about my child making friends.”

If you have any concerns going into the school year, let the teacher know. Whether your child struggled with math the previous year or is experiencing social challenges, telling the teacher right away will help them address and manage the issue.

5. “I’d like your advice.”

Unfortunately, teachers do not always get a lot of respect in our society. Asking for a teacher’s advice on a challenge your child is experiencing shows that you view her as an expert and that you want to have a collaborative relationship.

6. “My child is an auditory learner.”

You know your child better than anyone. Offering important insights into how your child learns can save the teacher a lot of time and help ensure that your child is set up for success.

7. “Lizzie tells me every day how much she loves your stories.”

People don’t generally go into teaching for the money. Most teachers genuinely want to help and connect with the children in their class. If your child gives their teacher rave reviews, make sure to pass them along.

Also, if you think your child’s teacher is doing a good job, tell them! A kind comment from a parent can really make all the difference. For bonus points, send a complimentary note to the principal if you really appreciate your child’s teacher. The kind words will get back to them.

8. “There’s a change coming soon at home.”

Small changes at home can make a big difference in how a child behaves at school. This is particularly true for very young children. If there is a change in your child’s home life, take a few minutes to let your child’s teacher know. They will appreciate your thoughtfulness and will also likely have more empathy for your child if they’re misbehaving.

9. “This is what we’re doing to work on the problem. What else do you suggest?”

Whether it’s turning homework in on time or talking too much in class, let your teacher know the things you’re doing to help your child with a problem at school. Give specifics, like a screenshot of the planner you’ve set up for school assignments or a summary of the conversation you had with your child on the seriousness of listening in the classroom. This shows that you’re taking the problem seriously. It will also let them know what’s already been tried so they can better brainstorm solutions. Make sure to ask if they have any other suggestions as well.

10. “Can we connect to talk about that?”

Even if your child’s teacher prefers to communicate by email, nothing compares to a face to face interaction. If you have serious concerns or you feel like you’re not communicating well, ask if it’s possible to meet with your child’s teacher virtually, or in person if that’s available at your school this year. If that isn’t possible, see if a phone conversation is better suited. So much is lost in text and email conversations, particularly with a person you don’t know very well.

11. “Let me jot that down.”

If you have a meeting with your child’s teacher, bring a notebook and a pen. Writing down their suggestions and concerns demonstrates that you take them seriously. It will also be useful as a reference for any future meetings.

A version of this post was published September 3, 2019. It has been updated.