For years, working moms have been told to “lean in,” juggle everything, and still smile through the chaos. But one of TV’s most powerful women just admitted what many have felt all along—sometimes, letting go is the real power move. Shonda Rhimes reminds working moms that it’s okay to let some things slide—because doing it all at once is impossible.

With a career that’s shaped television for generations, and three children at home, Rhimes knows firsthand what it means to live those pressures.

On the Call Her Daddy podcast, the producer and screenwriter shared a revelation that many parents will recognize: the idea of “having it all” is a myth.

The relief of letting go

“I think the relief was realizing that you can only do so much at once,” Rhimes says in the podcast. “I mean, I think the struggle and the way we’re told like, lean in, or you can have it all, or all these things, it’s such bullsh*t.

She clarifies that the challenge isn’t wanting everything, but believing you can manage it all simultaneously. “My job is amazing, but there are times when I’m going to have to say, OK, I let that slide because my kids needed me. And that is OK,” she added.

Related: 81% of working moms face burnout while ‘managing it all,’ Gallup study finds

Permission to embrace imperfection

Rhimes’ honesty extends to the guilt and self-expectation that working mothers often carry.

 “People used to be like, ‘How can you say that?’ I’m like, it made me feel so much better to think like, ‘OK, I’m failing at work right now. That’s OK.’ To give myself that permission made it so much easier,” she shared.

For many moms, this validation, coming from someone at the top of her field, can feel like permission to release unrealistic standards.

Why this matters now

Rhimes’ words arrive at a time when so many moms are quietly questioning the expectations placed on them. The idea of “doing it all” has simply evolved—today it can look like chasing balance, optimizing every moment, or perfecting a morning routine. Yet behind the filtered images and productivity hacks, countless working parents are stretched thin.

Her honesty feels like an exhale. As more families navigate hybrid work, shifting childcare costs, and relentless burnout, Rhimes’ admission reminds us that balance isn’t a finish line—it’s a moving target. Letting something slide doesn’t mean you’re failing; it means you’re human.

Related: This “working moms” TikTok trend perfectly captures what it’s like to be a mom with a career

The trade-offs of working motherhood

This isn’t Rhimes’ first reflection on balancing work and family. When her daughters were younger, she told Business Insider, “If I’m standing on set watching some amazing thing being shot, then I am missing my daughter’s science fair. Or if I’m at my daughter’s dance recital, then I miss Sandra Oh’s very last day … That’s what happens. Those are the trade-offs.”

Her approach highlights a truth every parent eventually learns: balancing career and family means making intentional choices that reflect your values.

Choosing what matters most

Shonda Rhimes’ reminder is both grounding and freeing. Parenthood and ambition will always pull in different directions, but peace comes from knowing you don’t have to stretch yourself to meet every demand. When we give ourselves permission to focus on what matters most in this moment, we don’t lose our power, we redefine it.

It’s the kind of message that lingers long after you’ve read it—a reminder that success and motherhood can coexist, just not on the same timetable.

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  1. Business Insider. 2017 “Shonda Rhimes Talks Diversity, Hollywood, and Motherhood.”