
In recent years, postpartum mood disorders have (rightly) gotten a lot more…

I couldn't keep up with the speed of my thoughts, but when they started to take a dark turn, I knew I needed to seek help.

"I stopped eating. I cried. I had a constant pit of anxiety that sat in my stomach. The only time it would go away was when I was asleep."

Suicidal thoughts and self-harm during and after pregnancy are becoming more common.

"I love my baby…I think... I don’t have all this motherhood stuff figured out yet..."

"I went to my room and looked at my empty bed, and the empty bassinet and realized this was the first time I had been alone since my delivery. This isn’t how it was supposed to be, and so the first breakdown happened."

"Coronavirus did something for me that it probably didn’t do for a lot of other mothers. It helped."

"I desperately needed that break, but I couldn't call anyone. My husband and I had to tough it out alone."

"Every night when the baby would wake up and cry, I would cry too—and every time I felt like I was losing control."

I didn't even know it was a thing until I was wide awake at night while everyone else peacefully slept.

"I wasn't a bad mother, just one that needed help."

"'I’m sorry, it sounds like you may just have the baby blues,' were the words that came out of the nurse’s mouth at my OB’s office when I called every day for a week begging for help at one-week postpartum."

Any situation even slightly beyond my control was completely defeating.

"I have always been a hypochondriac with an obsessive fear of dying. I used to get blood work quarterly just to make sure I was OK. If you know anything about depression, you know obsessing over death is a major symptom. Covid knocked the wind out of me."

"I found myself relieved by the stay-at-home orders because it was just easier to be alone."

"I sat in my hospital bed canceling plans—plans for my brother to watch my toddler, plans for cat-sitting, meal delivery, and more of my well thought out and planned support systems."

I commonly ask myself this when the control freak inside me began to get agitated.

7 expert ways to start to feel better

"I packed a bag at one point so I could run away in the middle of the night. I told myself that they would be OK. He could find a wife that wasn’t such a burden and didn’t cry all the time. My daughter could have a mom that didn’t get angry at every little thing."