24 questions to ask your partner instead of, ‘How was your day?’

After a long day of doing seemingly everything, when our partners get home it kind of becomes a habit to ask, “How was your day?” In between prepping dinner, handing off the kids, finishing your own work, we don’t exactly get much value from this question. Sure, it may open up the opportunity to complain about that awful thing that happened or excitedly share that presentation you killed at work—but it usually stops there. We all need marriage advice sooner or later, especially after having kids. And this is one small, easy piece of marriage advice we can all benefit from.

I could do a better job of really talking in my relationship. After 12 years and two kids, sometimes all we can come up with post bedtime routine is, “You good? I’m good. Fire up the Netflix.” If you’re wondering how to ask “how was your day,” try out a few of the below conversation starters.

24 different ways to ask, “how was your day”

1. Did you listen to anything interesting today?
2. If you could do any part of today over again, what would it be?
3. How did you imagine the day going this morning and how did it end up?
4. Will you remember any specific part of today a year from now? Five years?
5. Did you take any photos today? What did you photograph?
6. What app did you open most today?
7. How can I make your day easier in five minutes?
8. If we were leaving for vacation tonight, where do you wish we would be heading?
9. If you won $500 and had to spend it on yourself today, what would you buy?
10. If your day was turned into a movie, who would you cast?
11. What did you say today that you could have never expected to come out of your mouth?
12. What did you do to take care of yourself today?
13. When did you feel appreciated today?
14. If you could guarantee one thing for tomorrow what would it be?
15. If we traded places tomorrow what advice would you give me for the day?
16. What made you laugh today?
17. Imagine committing the next year to learning one thing in your spare time. What would it be?
18. Did you give anyone side-eye today? Why?
19. What do you wish you did more of today?
20. What do you wish you did less of today?
21. Is there anything that surprised you about your day?
22. What are you most looking forward to tomorrow?
23. If you could describe today in one word, what would it be and why?
24. What else would you like to share with me?

If you have one to share, send it to our editor (Editor AT mother.ly) and we may include your idea in this story (and credit you!).

A version of this post was published July 19, 2021. It has been updated.