Shawn Johnson East felt ‘like a failure’ when she had to have a C-section

Shawn Johnson East and her husband Andrew recently welcomed their little girl into the world. It’s a dream come true for the couple who had previously suffered a pregnancy loss, but Shawn says she didn’t get the birth of her dreams.

Shawn Johnson East’s c-section story

“22 hours of labor to end in a c section,” she wrote on Instagram. “I went in with such a stubborn mindset of thinking the only way I could bring our baby into the world was naturally. No meds no intervention. At 14 hours when I chose to get an epidural I felt guilty. At 22 hours when we were told I had to get a c section I felt like I had failed.”

We get how hard it is when your birth plan doesn’t go as planned. What Shawn feels is actually pretty common, say mental health experts. The combination of unexpected surgery and feelings of loss of power and guilt when a birth doesn’t go as plan, can be traumatic.

An emergency C-section is not a personal failure. It’s a medical emergency and it’s common.

“The emergency nature of C-sections leads [some mothers] to feel out of control, as well as fear that there will be harm to the baby or themselves,” Dr. Sarah Allen, a Chicago psychologist and director of the Postpartum Depression Alliance of Illinois, told the Chicago Tribune.

In Shawn’s case, everything went well, and that changed how she was feeling. “But after holding our sweet girl in my arms and being told everything went well and she had made it to us safely I could have cared less [about the C-section].”

Shawn no longer feels guilty and we are so glad she doesn’t.

It is important for pregnant people to know that there is no wrong way to give birth, and according to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, C-sections are very common, representing about 32% of all births in the United States.

Shawn did not fail, and neither did you, mama. C-section mamas are strong and brave.

A version of this story was published November 8, 2019. It has been updated.