Tired mama: Believe the people who say they want to help

So, there’s this thing that moms tend to do: We try to be super moms.

There are some days where I totally feel like a super mom. OK, I’ll give myself some credit: There are plenty of days where I totally am a super mom.

I get the grocery shopping and errands done, the laundry gets folded and put away, I get my blogging done for the week, we have a photoshoot AND I have dinner ready before Frank gets home. Oh yeah, and I do all of that while chasing around my toddler. (Can I please still call her a baby?)

That, right there, is me giving myself credit for all of the hard work I do. That is me giving myself credit for being a super mom.

… Some days.

And then there are the days where I totally can’t get anything done and I feel far from a super mom. There are plenty of those days too, let me tell you. On these days, I need help. I need a friend to watch Ava while I run errands, I need someone to bring me a home cooked meal and I need someone to do my laundry for me.

Wishful thinking, huh?

You know if you really think about it, it’s not that wishful. I have so many friends who would be more than happy to offer any of that to me if I needed it. I have so many friends who are willing to offer help.

But here’s the catch: If any of my friends offered to wash my dishes on a rough day or watch Ava for a couple of hours while I got some work done, you’d better bet I’d say no.

I really NEED the help some days—but there is no way in the world I would accept it. I feel bad, I haven’t done that for them before so I really shouldn’t accept and most of all, I’m supposed to have it all together.

I’m supposed to be a super mom.

Now, I am not going to take credit for this lesson, as it’s a lesson I learned from one of the most amazing woman I know. And it’s a lesson I just had to pass on to all of you because it’s something all moms need to hear. It’s something all moms need dearly in our lives.

When we say no to help from our friends, we are robbing them of their happiness. And let’s be honest, we are robbing ourselves of some much-needed help.

Think about it: Nothing brings us more joy than doing favors for our friends. Babysitting, cooking dinner, sending flowers or anything that shows someone I am there to help them brings so much happiness into my life. Being helpful and being kind gives me a total high—it makes me feel pretty amazing. But, if I offer to help and my offer is denied, that happiness is taken from me.

Just think about that for a second.

While we may be super moms some days, we are always going to have days where we can’t do it all. We can’t juggle it all. We need help.

And if help is offered, we need to learn to accept it with grace. Not only does this make our lives easier as moms, but it enables that happiness to fill some else’s life, too.