True life: I wouldn’t be half the mother I am without coffee

My dear sweet one,

I think about you before I get out of bed every morning.

I imagine us together, and it’s the only thing that drags my tired body downstairs.

I trudge to our special spot—my automatic coffee maker—and press your button.

I wait for you to arrive.

I. Cannot. Wait.

You make a bunch of funny noises on your way to our meeting but it’s okay—I don’t judge.

Truth be told, I’d put up with a lot of things for you. And how could I not? You are my one true love.

So I wait. . .

And then yesss, finally. IT IS OUR TIME.

I mix you with a little creamer.

I pour you into my favorite, ginormous coffee cup.

I finally get that first, precious taste on my lips and YESSSSS. You are so worth the wait.

You. Complete. Me.

Sip.

I get the energy to stop the 6 a.m. skirmish that is already breaking out between my sons in the playroom.

Sip.

I think I have the strength to change my daughter’s diaper.

BIG SIP.

I think these rascals are ready for breakfast. I think I might be able to pour some cereal into a bowl.

Sip.

Related: Major study shows drinking coffee *is* good for you

Please know that when I leave you on the counter half-finished, that is just a symbol of my undying commitment to you. I’m not “leaving you behind” just because I am rushing to get my kids out of the house in time for school. I’m trusting that you’ll still be there for me when I return.

And you always are.

You’re there for me during the late-morning PTO meeting when I didn’t get enough sleep last night because #sleepregressions and my husband is traveling and work is just so busy and all of the things are on my shoulders.

You are there.

You are there for me when I need to go Christmas shopping and feel like the magical elf that I long to be—so long as I can crush the aisles of Target in the next 60 minutes. You are there.

You are there for me during the afternoon work meetings when a colleague casually asks, “Want to grab some coffee?” and I have to play it cool and not respond like the adoring fangirl I am inside. (“Yes, thanks that sounds great,” not “OMG YES I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS MOMENT!”) You are there.

You are there for me late at night, when I set up the fresh ground coffee in a fresh filter with fresh water in preparation for the next day’s meeting. Just the anticipation of you is enough for me to sleep soundly at night.

You are so many things to me.

You are hope in a cup.

You’re perfect hot, cold or re-heated 42 times in the microwave.

You are energy for #momlife. It’s only a fraction of my preschooler-on-sugar energy, but you are still pretty magical.

You are focus at work to do all the things—and really, there are so many things for working parents to do.

You are a promise that the hard days *will* get better—as long as there’s coffee stocked in the cabinet.

You are tall, dark and handsome.

The smell of you reminds me of all the memories we’ve made.

The sight of you brings a smile to my face.

And you’re heaven on the lips.

I cannot stand this life without you.

Coffee & mothers = LIFE.

Let us never spend a day apart.

Your girl,

Me

A version of this post was published January 29, 2018. It has been updated.