You don’t know what love is before you have kids

Becoming a mom has brought out the best version of myself. It is someone I didn’t know even existed. I work harder. I love harder. I am stronger than I’ve ever been. And, although I thought I understood love before having kids, I really had no idea. My unconditional love for my children is like nothing I’ve ever felt before. You don’t know what this type of love is before you have kids—and you’re not meant to. 

Our concept of love evolves as we go through life and different experiences. We love our parents and our siblings, but it can often mix with other complicated emotions. As we grow up, we seek our independence and may fight with these people in an effort to puzzle out our place in the world. We begin to separate from them as we seek our own directions in life. It is a natural progression of things as we learn how to take care of ourselves. 

Falling in romantic love is another experience. This kind of love grows and changes the longer we are with someone. As the roots of our love grow deeper, we develop a new understanding of what it means to be in love. It can be hard to imagine a love that reaches even deeper into our being, but even this love changes when you see your spouse as a parent. 

When I became a mom, I finally realized my capacity to love. I carried my child for over nine months. I endured the sickness and fatigue for someone I had never even met. And, yet, I already knew it was all worth it because it was my baby. I believe the same is true no matter how your child comes into your life. The love grows once you finally have that newborn in your arms—even if it doesn’t feel as you expected in the very beginning. 

The way my children love me is like nothing I’ve felt before. It is a pure, adoring love. 

As moms in general, our lives change dramatically when we have children. That’s why the concept of love changes too. You love to make them happy. You live to help them survive. There is nothing else like this relationship. It is exhausting, rewarding and often thankless. You may get frustrated with them, but at the end of the day, nothing could shake this love. (Which may be a different experience than what you felt as a child.)

The way my children love me is like nothing I’ve felt before. It is a pure, adoring love. No one will ever love me like that ever again, not even them when they grow up. There is something about little kids. As a parent, you are their entire world. You are the person who matters the most in their eyes. 

When you have children, it’s like all of your emotions are heightened, including the way you love. The process of becoming moms changes us emotionally and physically. Even when our children grow up, we will never be the people we were before—and we wouldn’t want to. 

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