"I took the lead from the big kids because really right away without being asked, they called Ralph their little brother," McInerney shares in the newest episode of Motherly's podcast.
I grew up wondering many things but was hushed quickly. My parents would try to nurture what they could but the school I attended and the society we STILL live in doesn't like children asking hard questions. They aren't supposed to have hard questions, especially little girls, who seem to have extra layers of nonsense to contend with when they give voice to deep thoughts.
As his former spouse, I know that deep down in there somewhere is a man who wants to do well in the world. Someone who wants to be reconnected to his son, who yearns to prove to the world that he's capable. But as a mom, I put up giant barriers and protectors.
Even though you don't quite know the right thing to say, I'm going to believe that you want to say the right thing. You really want to tell me that I'm an excellent mother and that I'm doing a good job but you don't know how to say that exactly.
The amount of stuff was staggering. There were five giant bags of t-shirts, printed onesies, and pants with faces on the seat. There were boxes of tiny shoes and a box of wooden toys. Half of it still had the tags on.
I love my snuggles and I love being the antidote to their fear and sadness. But occasionally, I do wish they understood that they could easily wake their dad for help, or that he is equally capable of putting socks on the correct way.
I never could have imagined the energy that I felt with you inside me. I anticipated weakness, illness and slower days. Those came but were far and few between. Instead, what was most present during this pregnancy was my creativity.
It's not my son's job to fulfill me, make me happy, or give me an identity. That's my job; always has been and always will be. This I know without a shadow of a doubt.
