I will remind myself to call the babysitter in the morning, buy dish soap, call the dentist, and respond to the work email, all in about 25 seconds. When I should be sleeping.
When I was younger, I needed the constant encouragement from teachers, my parents
and even my husband. But not anymore. I'm noticing I don't care as much about other people's
opinions as I get older—I have found a comfort and a confidence in myself.
It's not simply overwhelming that parenting standards have risen dramatically while support systems have vanished, it's an unfair setup that has mothers thinking their personal inadequacies are to blame for what is actually the fault of a broken system and distortions of reality.
I realized that, for better or worse, joking about being a wine mom is a palatable
code for saying "this is hard." That feeling is one just about every parent experiences, often on a
daily basis—but it can still be hard to admit, lest we be accused of not appreciating
motherhood enough.
I still can't comprehend our grief. We were told losing our baby to a "cord accident" was rare. It was like a car crash; no one could predict when or why or how or the impact. It just...happened. But it still doesn't make it fair. It doesn't lessen the shock. It doesn't bring our daughter back.
