But as we reach this place where things are chaotically calm, I realize that while I could make space for those things (and I do in some respects), that I choose my children. With no self-judgment and no second guesses and no comparing myself to other women.
If life goes according to plan, I'll have one more when I'm 29 and, by 30, my husband and I will be selling car seats, hitting the tail end of diapers and settling into life as a minivan family.
You are always with me. In those times when I lose my cool under frustration, like yesterday when Everett was whining and simultaneously the dog threw up all over the carpet, I can feel you witnessing it all. I can feel you helping me, calming me or laughing at the chaos and confusion you used to know so well.
Your experience with your precious baby will be one that, at times, can feel like it is breaking you into a million pieces–but I promise that feeling is just the start of your transformation into a stronger, wiser, humbler version of yourself.
Thank you for letting me text you 10 messages in a row detailing what my kiddo is melting down over. Multiple times. At various points on various days.
