You’ve got nothing to feel guilty about, working mama

There has been tons of research and new studies in recent years that prove being a working mom can actually benefit to our children.  Still, as working moms, we all know that there are times we just don’t believe the research–and fear we’re letting our kids down in some way.  Well, today is the day you let go of that fear!

Here are the top 10 reasons I don’t want you to feel guilty for walking out that door—

1. Our children are always watching

And they know it is not easy on us.  Recently my son had the opportunity to write about the person he admired the most and he chose to write about me.  What struck me was that he wrote he admired me so much because I was able to give him so much love and make him feel special while I was also able to go to work and make a living for us at the same time.  At a very young age our children realize the special value of a working mom and that while it might not be easy it is extremely powerful and they are proud of us.

2. My son is learning to trust and rely on others

Understanding that this is a positive took me a little while but now I see that my son has a network of caregivers, teachers and friends that he can turn to for support when I am not there.  Knowing that he is building these healthy relationships now makes me feel proud and I see he is setting himself up for a great future. No one will be here forever and it is beneficial that our children learn to trust and rely on more than one person for comfort and support.

3. By following my passions I am a happier person

I get very excited when I accomplish things at work and push myself to grow and I take this excitement home with me.  Sharing my passion with my son shows him that it is good to pursue his passions and be responsible for his own happiness.

4. We appreciate our time together

Having traveled for work my whole son’s life has been interesting.  While there have been challenging moments, there have also been countless times where I get back from a trip and we feel like we hit the lottery getting to be together. My son and I truly appreciate the time we get so spend together which I don’t think would be the same if I didn’t work.

5. We share some amazing experiences

I love to share my work trips, adventures and experiences with my son when I get back from my trips. Sharing the different locations I go to or people I meet or challenges I face make me feel really proud and opens my son’s eyes to what the world has to offer.  Sharing my day to day with my son makes him feel empowered to conquer the challenges he faces each day too.

6. ‘What are you looking forward to?’

Whenever I am getting ready for a work trip and can see that my son is discouraged that I will be gone, I ask him, “What are you looking forward to?” I have learned that communicating effectively with my son pays dividends.  We each discuss what we are looking forward to in the week or weeks to come and focus on the positives that we can be grateful for.  When we target these days and count them down on the calendar things seem much more manageable.

7. We chose what’s right for us

There have been times when my son has asked me why one child’s mom gets to stay at home while I have to go to work.  This has opened up a great dialogue that I welcome.  It gives me the chance to let him know we all choose our own lives and he will get the chance to choose his as well.  Letting him know that we are in charge of the choices we make lets him know that it is okay and I am empowered.

8. We value others for their contributions, too

My son’s school has many stay at home moms who are very involved in the school.   I am not able to be very involved, as my work schedule doesn’t allow for it.  It gives me the chance to thank the other moms in front of my son and now my son does the same.  Realizing that everyone brings value in different ways and appreciating everyone for who they are makes both of us better people.

9. Because of my career, I look at things very differently

I set goals, timelines, and action items and believe in personal accountability.  Today, my son does the same.  My son is getting the chance to approach school and life from a perspective that is similar to running a business.  This helped immensely when he ran for student council or when he wants to negotiate staying up later at night.  Giving our children the gift of business applications at a young age will set them apart.

10. My son is becoming more independent

By working, we are giving our children the chance to be their own independent people. While we are away and they are spending time with others they are developing their own personalities, strengths and intests.  Too often we may baby our children or think they cannot do something as we want to protect them, by removing ourselves from the equation we are giving them the chance to see what they can do on their own—which is almost always more than we imagined.