How to create a safe space with your teen

September is national suicide awareness month. With the state of teens’ mental health, accompanied by high rates of suicide, it is an ever important subject to discuss with your teen. But, how do you set the ground work for talking about suicide? 

Creating an environment that is supportive, caring, and one that is open for young people to share how they feel, and listening to what is going on for them is a big part of setting the stage for healing conversations. There is growing evidence that social support and feelings of belonging are protective factors for suicide. The most important suicide prevention tip is creating an environment at home that welcomes needed openness and support.

Teens can feel vulnerable about sharing what is going on for them with their parents. Think of suicide prevention as not just talking about the subject of suicide but creating an ongoing environment of open and honest communication at home; an atmosphere where your teen can share with you their daily ups and downs, their questions and their innermost thoughts and feelings.  A place where they don’t have to feel so vulnerable (at risk) to talk about what’s really going on for them. As a Licensed Professional Counselor specializing in adolescent issues, , I’ve helped many families learn how to create a safe space at home.

When trust between parent and teen is established, they are able to be transparent about how they are doing. When you as a parent let them know, there is no problem too big for you to hear and you are never too busy to hear it, you allow the room for your child to speak with honesty.  

11 steps to fostering open communication

• Make space to connect with your teen each day 
• Remember to focus on the connection between you and your teen and not just the todo’s of life, and what they are or aren’t doing
• Expression of verbal and physical forms of affection daily  
• Experience joy together
• Normalize expression of feelings through modeling 
• Be open to hearing their feelings – all of them
• Just LISTEN
• Watch out for barriers to connection including judgment and shaming
• Put electronics away and focus 100% of your attention on your teen
• Stay out of problem-solving mode until they ask for you to offer suggestions
• Let them know you are always open to hearing if they ever have thoughts of self-harm or suicide

We tend to hide and isolate when things aren’t going well and if we are having thoughts of self-harm and suicide. Changing the action tendency from hiding and isolating to reaching out to you, their parent, is suicide prevention. Teens need to know they can come to you no matter what they are facing—and that includes thoughts of suicide. When thinking of suicide prevention think of establishing an open environment at home where safety is created and allows for your teen to bring you the small and big issues they face. 

Don’t let your teen’s feelings, mental health or suicide be a taboo subject in your home. Being able to discuss them all deepens your relationship and trust.