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But I'm determined to make the most of it.
I still remember the first time my adopted daughter called me "Mama." Now I don't want to give it up.
There are no baby bottles in my house and no 2 am feedings. There are no diapers and no more potty training. I don't have to pack a bag just to run to the grocery store.
One of her kids can drive now.
When I was younger, I needed the constant encouragement from teachers, my parents and even my husband. But not anymore. I'm noticing I don't care as much about other people's opinions as I get older—I have found a comfort and a confidence in myself.
I'm teaching my daughters about gender equality by letting them be who they are—without the labels.
So let's take a minute to soak it all in.
Spoiler: It does and it doesn't.
I thought of all the times that I'd felt left out. I could still feel that hollowness settling in my stomach and that heaviness pressing against my chest when I'd find out that friends were doing something I wasn't a part of.
Sometimes I think time is racing against me.
I will continue to cheer at each milestone we hit—when he learns to tie his shoes, when he masters how to make breakfast, when he starts to sleep in instead of waking up, begging us to play.
Their childhood will move to their teenagehood and then to adulthood, and there won't be tiny little dino jams in the laundry or princess dresses that don't fit anymore. How is it possible for these small, precious pieces of cloth to seemingly rip my heart out of my chest?
I don't want you to grow up.
As much as I don't love the exhaustion that comes with these hour-and-a-half middle-of-the-night wake-ups over the past couple of weeks—it is our time.
As a mom in this stage of life, it's easy to feel like our kids don't really need us anymore.
Some days will be full of wonder. Some days will be hard. Let the good days fuel your passion for learning but don't let the tough ones take the fun out of it.
Weren't we just transitioning you from the bassinet to this crib just yesterday? How is it time for a big boy bed already?
It was my faithful friend since the day my first baby was born.
Parenting a teenager is like getting an exclusive preview of the adult this child is going to be.
I am going to look for the light, even when it seems like its mostly darkness because, as I've learned, its never "easy" to be a mother—no matter the stage.