For the woman who is a “mother and more”—here’s what can help

Becoming a mama is a big, amazing transition that deserves to be honored. However, it doesn’t mean that the person you were before should go into hiding. That’s because within every mama is another person—one who created an identity for herself in the years and years before a baby arrived.

It looks like being a mother and…

Nurturing friendships.

Prioritizing romantic relationships.

Pursuing careers.

Making space for interests.

Motherhood can live alongside all the pieces that make you complete.

The first challenge is that just because we’re adding to our lives by becoming mamas doesn’t mean we want to take away from our lives. So, how can you balance the equation? It’s an age-old question that doesn’t have one solid answer. In truth, it will look different for every person—and even then it will continue to evolve as your family grows and your lifestyle changes.

Instead, perhaps the better goal should be to grant yourself radical acceptance for what you need to feel whole. It could be going to work at the office or doing the equally real work of staying at home. It could be focusing on your family or surrounding yourself with a supportive community. It could be pursuing a hobby that’s all your own or learning a new skill with your child. There is endless space for you to decide what’s right for you. That’s the beauty of individuality.

The second challenge is that just because it’s natural to have unique wants and needs doesn’t mean it’s always culturally supported. It’s no secret that the demands on moms today can feel all-consuming and hard to bear. Women have dropped out of the workforce in droves as they are asked to manage so much else. As Motherly’s co-founder Liz Tenety wrote about this crisis, “While there is beauty in the fact that mothers will do anything necessary to care for their families, there is profound shame in the fact that our society has forced them to be selfless to the point of losing themselves.”  

The more we can help the separate parts of our lives work together, the closer we get to supporting women, children and families. This means significant, system changes like making childcare more accessible or mandating paid family leave policies. It also looks like changing the way we talk about family dynamics, emotional labor and the mental load.

And because the big changes and little adjustments don’t have to be “either-or,” supporting mamas can even look like having the right products to keep up with our evolving lives. Take, for example, the diaper bag: It’s an essential for mamas, but that doesn’t mean it needs to scream “diaper bag” or only serve a purpose for a few years. Luli Bebé is a brand inspired by European style and high-end design that creates products that can adapt to the ever-changing needs of mamas and their babies.

With gorgeous details and practical design, the diaper bags from Luli Bebé are perfectly transitional pieces for anyone who is a mother and more—because that should be supported.

Shoppable

1. Petit Monaco Diaper Bag in Stone Gray

$109

Designed in Los Angeles, the Petit Monaco Diaper Bag is crafted with premium faux vegan leather and features a distinctive quilted texture front pouch with classic gold enameling. Unlike traditional diaper bags that feature bulky silhouettes and unappealing prints and fabrics, the Petit Monaco boasts a smooth design of supreme luxury and cultured finesse.

Shop

2. Monaco Diaper Bag in Black

$152

100% stain resistant and also 100% chic, this bag is perfect for so much more than diapers. The interior features nine pockets for everything you need for a successful outing.

Shop

3. Monaco Snack Bag in Pearl White

$79

The 100% stain resistant exterior and smooth wipeable interior make this the perfect (stylish!) bag for hauling all those snacks. Made with the finest luxury materials, hardware and premium YKK zippers, the Monaco Snack Bag features a large central storage space plus additional front and back exterior pockets for extra storage.

Shop

We independently select and share the products we love—and may receive a commission if you choose to buy. You’ve got this.

Related Stories

Motherly Stories

Donating breast milk saves lives—and is easier than you might think

Motherly Stories

3 beautiful things I didn’t expect when breastfeeding my toddlers

Women's Health

It’s time to end the stigma around using an egg donor