I had two miscarriages in six months

I love celebrating my birthday, catching up with my nearest and dearest friends over pizza. But in 2015, the occasion was extra special, as I was planning on announcing my pregnancy to everyone in attendance. Eventually, I changed my mind and confided in only two friends that I was expecting. Tears of happiness fell. Little did I know that my journey to becoming a mother would be much longer and more tumultuous than I could have imagined.

Three days after the birthday cheers, I shed tears of a different kind. My doctor informed me that I had miscarried. She assured me that the miscarriage was natural, that it was not my fault for doing or not doing something, but I found no comfort in her words.

The following months were difficult. As everyone around me was getting into the holiday spirit, I struggled to keep my chin up and smile while visiting family. Instead, I wanted to disappear and hide away so I didn’t have to talk about the elephant in the room. It wasn’t until we were on our way back home to San Francisco that I began to settle into some peace and start to feel a new hope blossom within me. That is, until a month later, when I found myself staring at all the pregnancy tests shelved at the drugstore. I was flushed with anxiety.

I got home, tests in hands, but couldn’t bring myself to look at the results alone so I waited for my husband. Sure enough, the stick showed a positive sign. I was pregnant.

How could this be, so soon after a miscarriage? I knew I only needed one normal menstrual cycle to get back on track, but still — it all felt so rushed. With the emotional fragments that remained from my miscarriage, I tried my best to stifle the excitement. In vain.

My maternal desire kicked into full gear, and with controlled enthusiasm, my husband and I sat in the observation room, waiting to see our growing baby. We waited for what felt like an eternity and made awkward small talk — mainly to avoid asking the looming question: what if it’s another miscarriage?

Once in the exam room, the nurse practitioner asked me questions about my history and proceeded with the ultrasound. As I was trying to focus on the monitor, I couldn’t help but study the nurse’s face. There was no sign of hope or joy.

“It’s like deja-vu,” my husband whispered, holding my hand tight. Tears streamed down my cheeks, and I knew. There was no baby. Again.

The news and expectation of a second miscarriage paralyzed me. I entered a phase of darkness and loneliness. I cried a lot, and I stared at myself in the mirror periodically, waiting for my body to change back. My marriage suffered, too, as tension permeated the air in our one-bedroom apartment. It was the hardest time of my life.

I eventually reached outside my family and friends and started to see a therapist. We only met a couple times, but our sessions were invaluable. I talked, she listened. I cried, she let me. “Was I broken?”, I wondered. She told me that the emotions I experienced were completely normal and natural, that I wasn’t broken. It was simply my new path of life. I had suffered a loss, and it deserved room to swell, age, and teach before it could be packed away.

Fast forward a few months, to August 2016. The family vacation at our Michigan lakehouse started out on a positive note: it was my birthday, my family surrounded me, I was in one of my happiest places on Earth, and the darkness from my miscarriages had started to fade. Then one afternoon, I saw the tampons I had packed for the trip and realized my cycle hadn’t come. My heart dropped, and I suddenly felt the need to dash off to buy a pregnancy test. I had to know immediately — was I pregnant?

Pregnancy test in hand, I sat in the bathroom absolutely terrified. This was a scene that I was becoming too familiar with and that I was once again facing with dread. The test was positive. Again. But convinced joy and happiness were not in my cards, the positive result didn’t register. Instead, anxiety ruled.

From that point onward, I entered every day anticipating that something would go wrong and that I would get bad news at the next doctor’s visit. Even the abdominal ultrasound revealing our baby boy and seeing my nose on his face didn’t rest my nerves.

As the weeks went on, we only got good news, and I finally allowed myself to settle into the idea that this baby was real and well.

My baby boy was born on April 22, and now that he is with us, earthside, joy abounds.

Katie Center Brooks lives in San Francisco with her husband of 4 years, her stepdaughter, and her baby boy, Lawton Wellington. Before her baby was born, she worked on a recruiting team at a tech startup as the talent operations and brand manager. She’s embracing this new life of motherhood with open arms and humility. To read more about her experience, go here.

Understanding Recurrent Pregnancy Loss

Miscarriages are relatively common, occurring in 15-20% of all pregnancies, usually within the first trimester (up to 13 weeks). While one or even two miscarriages do not necessarily indicate future infertility, experiencing multiple miscarriages can understandably raise concerns about the ability to have a live birth. However, it is important to note that more than half of the time, families who have had two miscarriages will go on to have healthy children without any medical intervention.

Nonetheless, if you have not had a live birth after experiencing two or more miscarriages, it may be worth investigating the possible causes to better understand your situation and explore potential solutions.

Types of Miscarriage

Miscarriages can be classified into two main categories: early and late. Recurrent early miscarriages, which occur within the first trimester, are most commonly caused by genetic or chromosomal problems of the embryo. In fact, 50-80% of spontaneous losses have been found to have abnormal chromosomal numbers.

Structural problems of the uterus can also play a role in early miscarriage. On the other hand, recurrent late miscarriages can be the result of uterine abnormalities, autoimmune problems, an incompetent cervix, or premature labor.

Seeking a Cause

If you have experienced recurrent miscarriages, it is important to undergo evaluation and management to identify any underlying factors that may be contributing to the losses. For example, at the Washington University Fertility and Reproductive Medicine Center, comprehensive testing is conducted on both the mother or carrier and the father or sperm provider, as well as fetal tissue when applicable.

These tests may include anatomical testing/sonography, testing for autoimmune disorders, testing for endocrine issues related to the thyroid and pituitary glands, chromosome testing of products of conception after losses, blood clotting studies, and chromosome testing of parents looking for balanced translocations.

Genetic Factors

In some cases of recurrent pregnancy loss, genetic factors may be involved. Random chromosomal abnormalities of the embryo are common and account for 50-80% of all first-trimester losses. However, there are instances in which certain chromosomal abnormalities are repeatedly passed on, increasing the risk of multiple pregnancy losses.

If you have had two or more losses, it is advisable for you and your partner to consider a karyotype test to check for a balanced translocation. The chance of finding a balanced translocation in either parent is approximately 4%. In situations where genetic factors are identified as the cause of recurrent pregnancy loss, in vitro fertilization with preimplantation genetic testing may be considered. This approach aims to select chromosomally normal embryos, increasing the chances of a successful pregnancy.

Uterine Anomalies

Approximately 15% of repeated miscarriages are caused by uterine structural problems. Some individuals may be born with uterine abnormalities, such as a double uterus or a uterus divided by a wall (septate uterus), while others may develop problems related to fibroids or polyps. Intrauterine scarring can also contribute to miscarriages.

The good news is that the majority of these uterine issues can be addressed through surgical intervention, increasing the chances of a successful and healthy pregnancy. Proper evaluation is essential to determine if any of these problems exist and to develop an appropriate treatment plan.

FAQ: Navigating After Multiple Miscarriages

Can I have a healthy pregnancy after 2 miscarriages?

Yes, many women have healthy pregnancies after experiencing miscarriages. Each pregnancy is unique.

What causes 2 early miscarriages in a row?

Various factors, including chromosomal abnormalities, can cause consecutive miscarriages. It’s often not due to anything the mother did.

How many miscarriages before you are considered high risk?

Typically, after three miscarriages, you may be considered high-risk, but this can depend on individual circumstances.

Can you have 3 miscarriages in 6 months?

Yes, it’s possible, though uncommon. Seeking medical advice is important.

Am I high risk after 2 miscarriages?

Not necessarily, but it’s wise to discuss your concerns with a healthcare provider.

How common are 2 miscarriages in a row?

It’s relatively uncommon but not rare. Support and medical guidance are available.

Should I give up after 3 miscarriages?

Many still find success after multiple miscarriages. Consider professional guidance for your specific situation.

Is there hope after 2 miscarriages?

Absolutely, there is always hope. Many women go on to have successful pregnancies.

Should I keep trying after 3 miscarriages?

If you’re willing and medically advised, it’s okay to keep trying. Support is key.