Almost 50% of parents heading back to work after parental leave found it harder than expected, survey finds

If you showed up to a Zoom meeting on your first day back from parental leave and saw a bunch of confused faces, you’re not alone. A recent study found that for one in four new parents, their colleagues didn’t know when to expect their return  from parental leave. 

The study, conducted by Parentaly, surveyed nearly 3,000 moms across the US about how supported they felt by their employer before, during and after parental leave. The results were less than ideal, to say the least.

Parentaly found that almost half of women they surveyed found returning to work to be more challenging than they thought it would be. Nearly three quarters of respondents didn’t have a sufficient re-onboarding plan to help them get back into the swing of things, and 45% of the moms said they felt that taking parental leave negatively impacted their career.

If you are heading out on parental leave soon or coming back shortly, don’t let the survey results scare you. Knowing that your re-entry to the workforce might not be smooth isn’t the greatest feeling, but there are steps new parents can take to advocate for themselves during this tricky time.

Talk with your manager about communication during leave

“It’s a common misconception that companies aren’t allowed to interact with employees on leave,” says Parentaly founder Allison Whalen, “but many parents do want to be kept in the loop about certain things to make the return a bit easier.”

Before you go out on leave, talk to your manager about what you want to be kept up to date on while you’re out and what you don’t want to be contacted about. For example, you might want to hear about any company layoffs and how that might affect your team or about whether a team member changes roles. Decide in advance how you want to be communicated with, too. Should your manager email you, use a company messenger platform or send you a text? 

Take the reins on making sure your colleagues know when you’re coming back

About a week before your first day back, email your manager and ask them if they’ve shared your return date with the broader team. You can offer to email your team with details about your return, which is also a good time to send any cute baby pictures of your new addition if you plan on sharing photos. 

When coworkers don’t know when new parents are coming back, they can’t help prepare for their return, and not knowing when someone is scheduled to come back can cause confusion. 

Push to have your performance review early if it would happen while you’re on leave

The survey found that the longer a new parent stays out on leave, the more likely they are to have their career negatively impacted. Only 20% of expecting moms surveyed said they got career support from their manager during their parental leave. 

“Expecting employees should continue to have career conversations up until their leave,” says Whalen, also noting that if you’re going out on leave it could be a good opportunity to expedite a key initiative or project that would have a big business impact. 

If your performance review will fall when you’re on leave, ask to have it early before you go out. Focus on what you’ve contributed for the year so far, and indicate what projects you’ve already had an impact on that will continue while you’re out. 

Don’t ask for any changes to your work life until you’ve been back a few weeks 

The study found that 71% of parents returning to work have challenges navigating how to balance work with their personal life. Whalen says it might sound counterintuitive, but recommends new parents wait until they’re back at work to ask for any changes, like reduced hours, from their managers.

“I see too often that women will imagine or envision what they think they will want when they return to work only to return to work and realize that is not at all what they want now that they are actually in the thick of returning to work,” she says. 

Find time to talk about what you might need with your manager a few weeks after you return so that you have time to understand what will be most helpful to you, and know that as your baby grows your needs might change.

“Once you’ve identified what your ‘ask’ is for your manager, we often see parents have success being honest but also positioning their request within the framing of how this won’t negatively impact the business,” Whalen says.

Don’t wait for your manager to give you a re-onboarding plan

Having a strong re-onboarding plan is crucial to whether parents have an easier time coming back to work or not. 

Knowing that this is critical, proactively ask your manager about your re-onboarding plan before you go on leave. If a plan doesn’t exist, you can download Parentaly’s Return-to-Work Best Practices checklist and send to your manager to build a plan together. 

Whalen also suggests that parents can proactively set up what she calls a ‘listening tour.’ “Set up 1:1s with key stakeholders to reconnect, hear updates on key projects, and ask about their key priorities going forward,” she recommends.

New parents should feel supported when they head back to work after having a baby. In an ideal world, companies would prioritize manager training and policies to help ensure all parents transitioning back would feel supported, but that sadly isn’t always the case. Knowing that there may be challenges and advocating for yourself can help turn a difficult transition into an easier one.