Unpopular opinion: I use AI to help me parent 

The uncertainty of how artificial intelligence might impact our future has made us fearful in accepting it with open arms. We’re already seeing how it is transforming businesses and industries, but what about other aspects of our lives? As a tech entrepreneur, I began experimenting with it in my business to make my day-to-day more efficient and was blown away by its power. It made me  wonder if it could help me in other areas of my life. It helped me lighten my mental load as an entrepreneur, but could it help me lighten the mental load I carry as a mother? Could it give me advice and scripts on what to say in specific parenting scenarios? I decided to give it a try.

I was three weeks into potty training with my twins who are very much in their terrible twos stage of wanting to challenge authority (me) with every single thing. I had just cleaned up an accident from one twin when my other twin declared he needed to go poop but refused to go to the toilet. As a first time mom, every situation I encounter is brand new and in that moment, I had no clue what my next step should be that wouldn’t involve him going on the floor, me screaming from frustration or carrying him to the toilet against his will which would result in a meltdown. That was when I remembered AI.

Since then, I’ve been using different AI tools such as ChatGPT or Breda, which was built with parents in mind, to test the boundaries of how much AI could help me with daily motherhood struggles. 

5 ways AI tools help me with parenting

Here are five ways using a parenting AI app has helped alleviate some of the workload and mental load of parenting. While they might be small tasks for some, any little bit helps. 

Meal planning and grocery lists 

This was a task that I was glad to have help with. Each week, I would rack my brain trying to come up with meal ideas for our family while ensuring they were toddler friendly. Now, I ask AI to come up with a weekly menu that is vegetarian, toddler friendly and incorporates a list of ingredients which I already know my toddlers love or tolerate. Within seconds, AI can give me the plan for the week and the shopping list for the ingredients that I need for those meals and even categorize the list for an easy shopping trip. 

Activity generator 

We try our best to minimize screen time in our household but that means there’s a ton of planning when it comes to activities to keep them entertained. Now, I ask for creative activities geared towards my toddlers based on items I already have at home, with no limit to how many ideas it can generate for me. You can also be specific with indoor or outdoor activities for the age group that the activity is intended for to  get something that works best for you.   

Gentle parenting scripts 

When you have every intention of being a gentle parent but you’re at a loss of words, especially when your child is having a meltdown, it’s nice to be able to tell AI the specific situation you’re experiencing and ask it to give you a gentle parenting script for the result you want. 

For example, my toddler was recently having a meltdown after I said no to having a treat before dinner time. I turned to Breda’s gentle parenting prompt.

Me: Provide me with a gentle parenting script for a very specific situation I am going through. My toddler is having a tantrum after I said no to having a treat. 

Breda: “I understand that dealing with tantrums can be a challenging part of parenting, especially when we’re trying to stick to certain rules. During these moments, it’s crucial to maintain our own calm and demonstrate empathetic communication. Here’s a script you could use: 

“[Child’s Name], I understand that you’re upset because you really wanted that treat, right? It’s okay to feel upset. We have treats sometimes, but not right now. Let’s have our dinner first and we can perhaps have a treat later. How about you help me in making dinner? Would you like that?”

“This script not only validates their emotions but also distracts your child by including your child in a new, engaging activity. Remember, your approach should be to guide, not control.” 

“Let me know if you have mentioned any rules to your child prior to this moment about not having treats before dinner. I can customize this script accordingly.”

This is a fairly common response I use with my twins and had already done so in this scenario already. I responded to Breda with: I have used this script already.

Breda responded: “I see, thanks for letting me know. It sounds like you’re doing great at maintaining understanding and patience while sticking to the rules.

“Let’s try a different approach. Perhaps bringing in a little imagination to help manage the situation might work. Here’s another script for you:”

“[Child’s Name], I see how much you want that treat and it’s making you really upset not to have it right now. Let’s play pretend for a moment. Let’s imagine that the treat is taking a nap because it needs rest before it’s ready. We too need to eat our dinner first, then our tummy will be ready for the treat. How about that?”

“Remember it’s okay if your toddler continues to be upset after you say this. Your job isn’t to eliminate their upset feelings but to validate them, provide reassurance, and model calm behavior during a stressful moment.”

I often hear hesitation about using AI as a parent but you know your child best and it’s key that you remember this when you apply AI in your parenting. In this scenario, through all of the emotions, I didn’t think to use imagination as a tool and this prompted me. Rather than using this exact script, I tailored it to what I know my child would respond with so instead, I said to my child:

“I see how much you want that treat and it’s making you upset not to have it right now. Let’s pretend that the treat is really hungry too and wants some dinner. Should we feed your treat some dinner while you’re eating too?”

A few hugs and deep breaths later, my child was at the dinner table with his treat on the side that he was happily feeding.

Budgeting and financial tips

Budgeting is one of my most hated things to do so this is another task that I am glad to have quick help with. Here’s one script you can feed the AI: I am struggling to get by and nothing is moving the needle. Help me by asking me one question at a time about my spending. 

Daily guided journal 

I have always heard about the benefits of practicing gratitude and journaling everyday but when you’ve never practiced it before, it can be hard to figure out where to begin. It’s really interesting to see how AI can converse with you to navigate your thoughts and feelings to help you find balance in motherhood for exactly where you are in your journey. 

I know that I won’t be able to turn to AI for every parenting situation but it’s nice to know I have a resource quite literally in my back pocket that can guide me through whatever comes my way.