5 tips to help kids dress themselves, from a Montessori expert

For many parents, empowering our children with the skills they need to become independent and self-sufficient individuals starts at home. One essential life skill that we can teach our children is how to dress themselves, which can promote independence and build their confidence and self-esteem.  

As a Montessori-trained teacher with over fifteen years of experience and a mother of two young children, I have discovered some practical tips that you can integrate into your daily life to help promote independence. By implementing the Montessori method in your home environment, your children will need you less, as they are able to function independent from adult support. Pouring water for themselves, retrieving what they need when they need it in the kitchen and fully dressing themselves without help are just a few of the ways your child’s independence can benefit your family and your child’s own self-esteem.

For your child to develop agency and control over their own bodies, they have to practice some of the mundane activities of daily life like dressing themselves. While they won’t be able to do it perfectly at first, practice makes perfect. Here are a few ways you can support them learning how to dress themselves, which will likely make your mornings a little easier!   

How to encourage kids to dress themselves

1. The jacket flip

The Montessori theory and pedagogy has a focus area called, “Care of Self” where we teach children to be independent in taking care of their bodies (think: From brushing their teeth to wiping their own noses to dressing themselves before going outside). To support your child in putting on their own jacket, try the jacket flip technique, which will teach your child how to put on and take off their jacket independently. Here’s how it works:

• Lay the jacket flat on the ground with the hood facing up.
• Show your child how to stand facing the hood of the jacket. This may not look natural, but you can add the phrase “tags to toes!” if that helps.
• Ask your child to bend down and place their arms into the sleeves of the jacket.
• Instruct your child to stand up and lift the jacket over their head.
• Do it together. Your child will delight in watching you try it first.

2.  Organize clothing to promote autonomy

A Montessori classroom or prepared environment is a place where your child can access everything at their level.  Art work is placed at eye level, stools offered for access to the sink, bathtub, etc. To best support your child’s easy access to their own clothing, offer a small dresser or three low drawers at eye level in their bedroom. Rotate the clothing seasonally, so that you can be in control of the selection, but your child can have the ability to exercise choice and begin to dress independently. 

As your child starts to navigate dressing themselves, it’s ok for them to repeat outfits. Wearing the same pair of pants, the same jacket or the same pair of shoes every day will offer familiarity and comfort, giving your child the practice needed to really master the skill of dressing and undressing. If your child is not yet toilet trained, only provide stretchy pants. Overalls, jeans and button up shirts are adorable, but not practical for children seeking independence with their clothing. Place a small laundry hamper or basket in the bedroom or bathroom so your child can take care of dirty clothes at the end of the day.

3. Create a child-friendly entryway

Like adults, when your child arrives home after an outing, they will need a place to store their belongings. Young children crave order and a sense of organization and will find pride in knowing where these items will be stored.

By the front door, put a set of low hooks so your child can hang up their jacket and backpack.

When your child comes home from school each day, begin to establish the routine of hanging up their jackets and backpack. A low-shoe shelf and small stool in the entry area are really helpful especially for younger children so that they can put shoes or slippers on independently.

4. Don’t correct

As a Montessori teacher, one of the most important parts of my job is to use scientific observation to understand the children in my care. If I notice that a child is struggling to put their shoes on or challenged by sweeping crumbs off the floor, I try not to interrupt their attempts in the moment so I don’t impede on their confidence and self-construct.  Instead, I make note of it and know to give that lesson again, or observe what needs to be altered so that the child will find success. 

As you observe your child’s attempts to put on their shoes or find the arm holes of their pants, try not to correct any errors. If the shoe is on the wrong foot, you can simply ask, “do your shoes feel comfortable?” If they do, then allow your child to explore the world with mismatched feet. Their pride and confidence in the fact that they did it themselves is more important than the physical appearance. If your child reflects and thinks they might be uncomfortable, you can suggest, “let’s try the other shoe and see if that’s more comfortable.”  By not correcting, you are allowing your child to develop their own self-awareness and feel in their bodies what might be the correct way to wear clothing.  

5. Practice together

While mornings might be rushed getting out of the house, try to spend time with your child practicing getting ready together. Your young child might enjoy a game of taking their shoes on and off a few times. Lie pants flat on the ground, so your child has the understanding of which pant leg goes on which leg. Try the same with t-shirts—lie them flat on the ground and open the bottom to find the head hole. When it is bathtime, you can talk your child through how to take their shirt off by pulling through the armholes first. This takes time and patience at first, but will eventually become second nature and empower your child with the feeling of control and independence.    

When attempting any of these techniques with your child, remember that children see adults moving quickly and successfully throughout their day. They watch adults put socks and shoes on in haste and buckle belts with ease. Your absorbent child is observing every action and could benefit from witnessing you make a mistake or moving at a slower pace.  Maria Montessori noted that children watch our hands, so when teachers present new activities in the classroom, they demonstrate in silence, so the children are not interrupted by speech. They are focusing on your movements, how your hands tie a shoelace or how they carefully slice an apple. By moving at a careful pace, when possible, your child will better be able to mimic what they see and will be set up for future success in caring for themselves.