More Americans than ever are identifying as LGBTQIA+—here’s how to talk about sexuality with your kids
Whether your child identifies as LGBTQIA+ or not, having these conversations builds trust, support and understanding.
More Americans than ever identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender or queer, according to a recent poll.
An estimated 5.6% of adults identify as LGBTQIA+, according to a Gallup poll released in February 2021. That’s an estimated 18 million adults.
Gallup interviewed more than 15,000 people throughout 2020 to find insight as to how Americans view their own sexualities and genders.
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Of those who identify as LGBTQIA+, 54.6% identified as bisexual, 24.5% as gay, 11.7% as lesbian, 11.3% as transgender and 3.3% used another term to describe themselves. Because respondents were able to identify with more than one category, the total exceeds 100%.
Younger Americans are much more likely to identify as part of the LGBTQIA+ community. Nearly 16% of Generation Z, those 18 to 23, do not identify as cis-gendered or heterosexual. Just 2% of Americans 56 and older self-identify that way; it’s unclear from this report if this means that there are fewer LGBTQIA+ people in the 56+ community. The poll does show that younger people are more likely to be open about their identity, though.
And that’s important.
We know that more people than ever are openly identifying as non-heterosexual or non-cis-gendered. Maybe a member of your family falls into this growing category; maybe you do. The odds are that your children will have questions related to gender, sexuality and sexual orientation.
Navigating these conversations can be hard—but we’re here to help.
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First of all, it’s OK to feel out of your depth! Many people feel uncomfortable discussing sexuality, sexual orientation and gender with other adults, let alone teens or kids.
Acknowledge your nerves. Acknowledge your limitations. What can you share with your children? What do you not know enough about?
Find resources that can help you shape and guide the conversation. Organizations like GLAAD, The Trevor Project, PFLAG, the Stonewall Community Foundation and Johns Hopkins Medicine have free resources available on their websites.
Diana Spalding, Motherly’s Maternal Health Advisor, recommends the GENDER book. It’s a great resource that explains gender and sexual orientation in ways that are clear and easy to understand.
Have conversations about sexuality and gender, regardless of whether your child has come out as LGBTQIA+. Read books and watch shows and movies with LGBTQIA+ characters. Representation matters and can help your child find themselves or their friends reflected in society.
Be ready to listen to your child, too. Show them you’re open to the conversation and their thoughts and feelings.
Address discriminatory incidents immediately, in the same way you would address other behavior that isn’t aligned with your family’s values. Let your child know that discrimination is never OK. If your child identifies as LGBTQIA+, then your actions will let them know that you have their back. If your child identifies as cis-gendered or heterosexual, you’ll still be reinforcing the powerful message that hateful words and actions are never acceptable.
A version of this post was originally published on February 25, 2021. It has been updated.
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