Mom says she pays daughter an allowance for hobbies instead of chores

For many of us, our introduction to paid labor begins long before we’re legally able to apply for our first job. How? By earning an allowance. You know, that thing that’s been around for generations where parents hope to positively reinforce their kids to help around the house by incentivizing chores with money. It’s a parenting tactic almost as old as time.

But, according to one mom, it’s time to get with the times. And that means creating a better relationship between your kids and money. In a viral TikTok, user @destini.ann shares that she doesn’t pay her daughter for doing chores. Instead, she gives her money for her hobbies, or as she calls them, her “passions.”

“I want my daughter to know and have a positive association with money and feel like I can choose something that I feel good about,” Davis says in the video.

She explains that she wants to invest in her daughter’s hobbies so she can “be more disciplined” in that hobby or interest. She says she doesn’t use money to bribe her kid to do things she doesn’t enjoy doing. When her daughter asked to learn gymnastics and those lessons became harder over time, Destini says that’s when the idea came to her.

“I said, you know what? Let’s make this your job. I’ll pay you for that. And my belief behind it is that I want my daughter to know and have a positive association with money [and feel that she] can actually get paid to do something she enjoys.”

Many fellow parents admitted they were skeptical of this idea at first, but after watching the video, they liked Destini’s idea for motivating kids.

“This is actually brilliant. I quit a lot of things growing up because I felt embarrassed because I didn’t think I was good enough for any of them. This could alter a growing adolescent’s perception drastically and for the better! That’s a wise and loving mom!” one viewer commented.

“This is genius, money for passion projects, not for chores, not for good grades, not for the basic things you’re supposed to do and learn in life,” another person said.

Intrinsic motivation happens when someone participates in an activity for the satisfaction and pleasure of doing it, and that’s why they’re moved to act. When someone is extrinsically motivated, the behavior or action is driven by tangible rewards (money, treats, etc.).

The idea of giving kids an allowance to pursue something they love is a great idea, since chores are something that teaches kids how to be part of a community and by doing their part. As long as the intrinsic motivation for those passions exists whether money is part of it or not, this allowance idea seems like a pretty cool thing to try.

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