TikTok mom’s controversial take on birthday parties is raising eyebrows

Birthday party fatigue is one thing, but this mom on TikTok has taken it to a different level.

“Under no circumstances will I be throwing my daughter a birthday party every single year,” Marissa Light, a 28-year-old mom in Pennsylvania, said in her now-viral video that’s dividing the internet. “Here’s the deal: She is getting a first birthday party, she is getting a Sweet Sixteen and she is getting a graduation party.”

@marissalight It’s been a minute since I’ve given you a #hotmomtake … you’re welcome. #babybirthdayparty #momsoftiktok #momtok #firsttimemom #sahm #momcontent #millenialmom #birthdayparty ♬ original sound – Marissa | Lifestyle | SAHM

Light is a mom to an 11-month-old daughter named Daisy. In her video, she explained her reasoning.

“I have been to many children’s birthday parties whether they were 3 … 7 … 12 … and I’m sorry but as someone who did not have a kid at the time, they were not enjoyable,” she said. “And I don’t even think the kid noticed that I was there. I am not going to force that on my friends and family.”

She continued, adding that if you disagree and want to throw parties for your kid, go ahead!

“Now look, if you are someone who genuinely enjoys throwing your child a birthday party, pop off, Queen. Do what you want to do. I’m not telling anyone else how to live their lives. I just personally don’t find it necessary and I’m not going to be doing it.”

Light said she plans to celebrate Daisy’s birthdays with family every year, just without a party.

“We will have dinner and cake with them every single year to celebrate my daughter’s birthday,” she explained. “And every year on her birthday, we are going to do a ‘Daisy Day’ or an ‘All About You’ day.”

On “Daisy Days,” Daisy will get lavished with love and attention and get to choose her activities from morning to night (as long as they aren’t a shopping trip or gifts). And Daisy will have the option, when she gets older, to choose between a Daisy Day or a classic birthday party.

“And again, if you like to throw yearly parties, throw yearly parties,” Light said. “I’m just saying as someone who has been to a lot of them and kind of felt obligated to be at them, I’m just not going to be doing it — it’s a lot of stress on my part to organize and plan and put on the party and I’m not going to be doing that to my friends who don’t even have children, my family who, their children will be older. I just don’t want a bunch of people sitting around at my house all day.”

In the comments, people were divided.

“Your daughter is literally going to hate you,” one person wrote.

Another added, “Everyone deserves a birthday party every year. Even a small one with a few of their besties.”

But others saw some positives in Light’s plan. One parent wrote, “An introverted kid will love this. Just make sure that you’re celebrating that kid the way they’d like. Not the way you want to celebrate them.”

Another weighed in, “As a formerly anxious kid, the pressure of ‘performing’ at a birthday was stressful.”
And that’s really what it comes down to: Letting the child in question choose what they want for their birthday. A blanket ban on birthday parties is not the move. And someone needs to tell this mom that as kids get older, there’s a big difference between having cake with their family and having a party with their friends, even if it’s something small, like having a sleepover with their BFFs.