The idea that it takes a village to raise kids has been around pretty much as long as kids have. But sadly, not everyone has a village. In a viral TikTok, one mom explains that these days, one of the biggest privileges a parent can have is when their own parents, their kids’ grandparents, actually want to be involved and help out in their kids’ lives. Involved grandparents FTW.

“Top tier,” Kelsey P wrote in the caption of her video, where she explained, “Without question, the biggest parenting flex—it isn’t the mom car, not how much you make a year. It’s not how well-behaved your kids are. The biggest flex is having involved grandparents—voluntarily involved.”

Kelsey continued, “Having that midday struggle with my children and then getting that text from Grandma: ‘Hey, can I pick so-and-so up for a sleepover tonight?’ Funny you should say that! Bag has been packed. Never unpacked it. She’s ready.”

Those who know this, know it.

“Grandparents that want to be involved? 10/10!” Kelsey said. “Ones that you can text and be like, ‘Hey, can you fly up this weekend, we need your help.’ ‘Sure, no problem.'”

The unfortunate reality is that a lot of millennial parents just don’t have this. To some of our parents, it’s almost a point of pride to have “finished” raising their own children and now live selfishly and lavishly for themselves while the rest of us struggle through an economy ruined by previous generations.

“Nothing beats a grandparent that wants to do more than required to get that yearly Facebook ‘Happy birthday Grandma’ post. You know what I’m talking about?” Kelsey said. “They want to go above and beyond. The worst part is it’s kind of not common. We hear a lot of the times how people don’t have help and I am sorry. That f*cking blows. We know it’s their loss. We know it. Who doesn’t want to be involved with their grandchildren? Who? But I digress. We know it’s true. Having the village actually involved? Top tier. Winning. Grandma, grandpa, we f*cking love you.”

If you have these kinds of grandparents around, give them a hug. If not, we see you, and you deserve better.