We still love this mom’s emotional tribute to her second child: ‘You didn’t make me a mom. But you sure made me a better one”

When you’re expecting your second child, you’re overwhelmed with so many different emotions: excitement, anxiety, and the little twinge of sadness over letting go of having your first child all to yourself. Oh, and don’t forget the guilt—over your first child having to share the spotlight and guilt over your second child not getting as much of you as their older sibling did.

It’s… A LOT.

Basically, you don’t know how you’re going to feel about everything until your second baby arrives. And when that happens, every worry, every fear, every ounce of stress becomes background noise. And one mom perfectly nails why and how that happens in a TikTok post that went viral two years ago—and it still resonates today. It’s been watched more than 1.6 million times.

Kendra Barnes expressed those second-time mom feelings in a TikTok that touched the hearts of moms everywhere—be warned, you’ll need to grab a Kleenex before watching.

“You were second,” she recites in the video. “Not in my heart, but one did come before you in time. Yes, with you, it was different. There was no gender reveal party. No elaborate showers. We didn’t read all the books or check the apps every week to see what vegetable you measured up against.

These words were initially posted by Barnes via a viral Facebook post in 2019, and since then it’s become a viral TikTok many moms are having a visceral response to.

“I didn’t take as many photos, didn’t spend every waking moment thinking about the way your hair might curl up on the ends one muggy summer day,” she says. “My mind was busier; my body more tired. The worries of a first-time mom had faded, and now my thoughts drifted to fears that I wouldn’t be enough for you. I wondered how on earth my heart could ever be big enough, how I could manage to divide my time and energy and love equally enough.”

All of these worries are so common for moms who are expanding their families. The radical shift from one to two is an emotional, physical, and mental one. The adjustment period is real, yes, but it’s so much different once they’re here versus when you’re planning for their arrival.

“You’ve taught me how absolutely strong I can be, and you’ve given me a confidence I lacked the first time around,” Barnes says. “But more than anything, my love, you taught me that a heart is absolutely limitless in size, and that love is the antidote to fear.”

And she ends the video with an absolute heart-yanker (this is where I fully lost it, full disclosure): “So, it’s true. You didn’t make me a mother. But you sure made me a better one.”

A version of this story was originally published on Aug. 24, 2021. It has been updated.