Is Santa’s ‘Naughty or Nice’ List a thing of the past? Some experts say it should be

“Santa is watching!” exclaim so many moms throughout the world every December, when their kids weren’t living up to expectations as their moms exhausted themselves to plan the most magical holiday ever. Some might go so far as to let their kids know they are officially on the naughty list, even using online lists to generate results based on a kid’s name, freaking out kids everywhere.

Though it’s long thought to be a tradition all in good fun, some experts are worried that deploying the “Naughty List” for behavioral purposes can be harmful to kids. One TODAY article called it “misguided at best, and manipulative at worst,” adding that it can lead to shame, limit personal growth and not really do that much to reinforce good behavior. 

In one Instagram video, MrChazz says if we really value Christmas magic, we would avoid manipulating kids — “It takes away from what the Christmas spirit is all about.” He adds that we shouldn’t make kids think that they are bad, especially in situations where the number and quality of presents is really based on finances, not behavior. Kids in poverty might particularly struggle with feeling like they are getting less because of a narrative that they weren’t “good” enough.

Two thirds of families who make $50,000 or less say it’s becoming harder and harder to afford the holiday season. Social media influencers have long promoted labeling bigger gifts as from parents, not Santa, for this exact reason — it can be heartbreaking for kids who don’t have Santa show up in the same way, or how they’d hoped.

Instead, stick to the parenting basics you’ve used all year round, for consistency even in the inconsistent holiday schedule — clear boundaries, positive reinforcement, and focusing on the positive magic of the season.

It might be worth keeping the threats to a minimum, and throw a simple “The Elf is watching!” their way instead this holiday season.

A version of this story was originally published on Dec. 8, 2023. It has been updated.