More and more parents are opting for ‘no gift’ birthday parties—here’s why

If it feels like you’re spending every weekend at a kids’ birthday party (or shopping for one), you might be relieved to hear that “no gift” birthday parties are now becoming more popular. In fact, according to a recent poll of more than 400 moms, 13% of parents are requesting guests come sans-present to their child’s celebration, with half of moms polled revealing that they don’t want gifts or care if their kids get any.

Though it might seem controversial to buck tradition by not showing up with the perfect present wrapped in a big old bow, the trend has been picking up steam in recent years. Instead of the fiver party, where guests each bring five dollars to a kid’s birthday party so they can pick out the present they really want, gift-free parties include requests for, you guessed it, no gifts at all.

Of the 404 moms asked by the pros at What To Expect about their preferences, plenty prefer to keep the clutter to a minimum, and skipping gifts ensures they don’t end up with excess toys and stuff that will eventually end up in a landfill. Lots of moms want to be sensitive to other families’ budgeting needs, especially these days, when it feels like everything is expensive.

Still, even if a party invite specifies “no gifts,” 3 in 10 moms admit they’ll ignore it and still bring a present, with 33% of millennial moms doing this and 23% of Gen Z moms following suit. One participant shared that they “just don’t feel comfortable coming empty-handed” to a party, which is certainly understandable, given how costly childhood soirées can be.

So what’s a mom to do when this celebration conundrum arises? “Your best bet is to follow their instruction,” says Leah Rocketto, What to Expect’s associate shopping director. “Understandably, some people can’t help themselves and will bring a gift regardless of what’s written on the invitation. But don’t let others’ decisions to go against the request sway you. If you really don’t want to show up empty-handed, a small gift or a handmade card from your child are appropriate.”

Some moms are driven by their relationship to the guest of honor, opting to still buy gifts for kids of close friends and family members they’d give a gift to even without a party, skipping them for acquaintances and classmates’ children. Lots of moms compromise by bringing books, with one participant noting that “you can never have enough books.” Millennial moms are significantly more likely to do this, with 33% still bringing a gift, compared to 23% of Gen Z moms, according to the research.

Of course, no matter what the invitation says, spending within your means is always the move—things add up fast, and you should never feel compelled to go into debt over a child’s birthday party. So if you snag a “no gifts” invite, consider it a silent win with one less item on the to-do list to worry about. It’s not too often parents get a little slice of luxury like that, right?