Newborn mom hires driver to take older child to school—and gets shamed for it
kristina_fortuna/TikTok
"Why should I feel guilty for making a practical decision to protect my mental health?"
kristina_fortuna/TikTok
When you had a newborn (or if you’re in the thick of newborn mom life right now, and if so, God be with you), what would you have done to help ease some of the stress and burden if you had the means?
One mom shared in a TikTok video that after giving birth to her youngest, during the newborn phase, she hired a private driver to take her first grader to school in the mornings, just to get one chore off her plate while she was juggling multiple kids, running her household, and adjusting to life with a new baby,
“We decided to hire a private driver to take my daughter to school. With a newborn who hates the car seat and screams the whole ride, it’s just too much stress for all of us to handle every morning,” she wrote in the text over her video, which showed a series of photos of her kids, family, home, and morning routines in action.
As we all know, though, moms just can’t have nice things. She continued, “Of course, a close relative shamed me, saying we’re wasting money and that ‘everyone one does it themselves’ without help. But honestly, I’d rather invest in peace of mind and avoid feeling overwhelmed. I’m already struggling to keep it together, and I don’t want to let my stress affect my support for my first grader.”
And this is so valid! What’s the difference between hiring a driver and, say, paying for help cleaning the house during the newborn phase? Or hiring a nanny or babysitter to help with the older kids during those first few months? This mom just figured out what chore she needed help with most — getting her first grader to school in the morning — and then found the right professional to outsource it to.
“With returning to work in a few weeks, I need all the help I can get,” she added. “Do you think I’m wasting money and being weak? What would YOU be willing to pay for to make life easier instead of doing it yourself?”
In the caption, she wrote one more quick note that we’re applauding: “Why should I feel guilty for making a practical decision to protect my mental health? What would you invest in to make life easier and less stressful?”
In the comments, people were split. Some saw no problem with this mom’s choice.
“Nothing different that having a babysitter/nanny drive your children to school or activities. I’ve done it for the family I was with,” one commenter wrote.
Another added, “Whatever works for your family is what’s best.”
But others seemed to think that hiring a professional driver could put her child in danger. One commenter wrote, “My only thought is, do you personally know this man?! Your sweet baby is at risk if you don’t.”
(The mom who made the video did not say her driver is a man during any part of the video.)
One commenter shared this sweet story: “My dad had a friend named Art who was retired but wanted to work a little. Dad paid him to pick me up from school, drive me home, take me to swimming lessons & sports practice. I loved him.”
The mom who made the video responded, “That’s so heartwarming! Respect to Art for being such a positive presence in your life.”
It sounds like this arrangement is working for this family, and good for this mom for doing what she needs.
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