Ms. Rachel breaks character to deliver message about mom guilt in viral TikTok

If you’re not familiar with Ms. Rachel, chances are your child is too young or too old to be entranced by her magic. But for those of us who are familiar with the beloved YouTube personality (if you have a child between the ages of 1-4, you need Ms. Rachel’s Songs for Littles in your life ASAP), we can recognize her calming presence and delightful voice a mile away. We love her because our kids love her!

But today, Miss Rachel has a message for grown-ups that’s going viral—specifically for moms.

“It’s OK to be a ‘full bucket parent’,” she begins. “When my son was little, I felt guilty if I took a shower, exercised, did a class I wanted to do, worked. I was like ‘must be with this little human every single minute.'”

Hi, yes, raise your hand if you can relate—that’s what I thought. I can just feel TONS OF HANDS shooting up into the air. Why are we like this? Ooh ooh, I know! It’s because society, social media, and gender norms make moms feel like we have to be tied to our children 24/7 to be considered “good” moms.

Related: Errands and showers are not self-care for moms

“I realized taking care of myself and following my passions helps fill up my bucket,” she explains. “I also realized it’s good to shower.”

Ms. Rachel’s advice about filling up your own bucket

Ms. Rachel also explains that when you come back to your child after filling up your own bucket, everyone benefits. When we meet our own needs, we have more energy for our kids’ needs. We’re more present and less distracted. We can really enjoy some “super quality time” when our buckets are full.

Related: Mama, your time is precious too

Maybe filling up our buckets means taking a weekly yoga class, joining a book club, or browsing around Target with our favorite Starbucks drink in hand—these are the “little” things that remind us who we are and bring us joy. Because the person we were before we became moms is still in there, with the same needs and likes as we’ve always had. That person has new dimensions and responsibilities now, but she deserves a wine night with girlfriends, a night away to shop in Amish country, or to take herself to the movies to see absolutely anything that isn’t animated.

Hearing someone who loves our kids almost as much as we love them (anyone who feels differently clearly hasn’t watched Ms. Rachel) give us a little TLC too—because it comes from a shared lived experience—means so very much.

“So go fill up your bucket,” Ms. Rachel advises. “I don’t know what we’re filling the buckets with, but I know it’s good. And I know you should fill it with some stuff.”