Moms on TikTok ask partners to save them during childbirth if necessary, not the baby

Whether you’re expecting your first child or your third, there are some things about preparing to give birth that will always stay the same. One mom’s TikTok video is going viral because she asked her partner to save her instead of the baby, in the event of labor complications.

The viral TikTok has started a conversation amongst parents where moms are sharing why they want their partners to choose them over their babies.

TikTok user Anabel Morales, started the conversation when she posted a video saying that she wanted her husband to save her if she had any complications during childbirth.

The video is only a few seconds long and shows Morales in her hospital bed and then switches to her husband sitting across from her. The caption reads, “To my husband: If I’m giving birth and the doctor says you need to pick between me or the baby please save me I don’t want Ethan to grow up without a mom & I don’t want you to have to raise 2 babies alone while also grieving your wife.”

Her video has since been watched more than 6 million times. The comments are flooding with supportive and understanding comments.

“I asked my husband this yesterday and he said “I’ll save you. We can have another baby, but I can’t get another you.’ Not the answer I expected.”

“My husband said “if I had to pick between you and our baby I’d pick you bc we can have another baby but I can’t have another you'”

“I’ve never looked at it this way. I’m lost for words…”

“Im pregnant with my third. I have this conversation with my partner all the time. Save me! My two girls need me.”

“I had these feelings during my third pregnancy and felt so guilty. I’m glad I’m not the only one that feels this way. 🤍”

“Thank you for this video and opening the conversation. It isn’t about loving the baby, it is the practical decision in a terrible situation”

Anabel Morales spoke to BuzzFeed about her video. She said, “Because I have a baby now, this is the way I think.”

She added, “It’s better to discuss so if it ever does happen, you know what to decide.”

BuzzFeed also spoke to Mary Jane Minkin, MD, who is a clinical professor of obstetrics, gynecology and reproductive sciences at the Yale School of Medicine. According to Minkin, cases like this are not the norm but rather pretty rare.

Of course, living in a post-Roe v Wade world, the stakes are different given that so many states have rolled back reproductive rights for women. Just last October, a Texas woman was forced to carry a nonviable pregnancy longer than she should have and almost died from sepsis.

According to the World Health Organization (WHO), the maternal mortality rate is at an all-time high. The most recent statistics show that the average maternal mortality rate in 2020 in the US was 24 deaths per 100,000 live births. For Black mothers, it was more than twice as much.

Having this exceptionally difficult conversation with your partner can be emotional and difficult no matter where you are on your pregnancy journey, but having a game plan for a just-in-case, emergency scenario doesn’t hurt.

A version of this post first published on March 2, 2023. It has been updated.