This viral TikTok explains why it’s OK to set boundaries with your kids’ grandparents

Leaving your kids with their grandparents can be wonderful. It gives you some time to yourself. Maybe you’ll run a few errands, get in that sought-after date night or perhaps, even shower in peace. Because who doesn’t need a little space from their little ones from time to time?

It’s all sunshine and rainbows, until something happens and you break out the “b” word—boundaries. Setting boundaries with grandparents can be a tricky conversation to navigate. But is it necessary? Maybe (only you can be the judge of that). More importantly, is it OK? Absolutely.

Lisa Pontius, mom of three and TikToker, posted a viral video last year explaining why setting boundaries with your kids’ grandparents is not only OK, but it’s actually what makes for a healthier relationship.

“In case no one’s told you,” she begins, “Having boundaries isn’t the same as keeping your kids away from your parents.”

“I still have boundaries with my parents in regard to my children. They still have boundaries with me over when and how often and how much they’re going to watch said grandchildren. We each acknowledge and respect each other’s boundaries. That’s how you have a mutually respectful, adult relationship,” she continues.

Navigating boundaries when it comes to how others treat your kids is without a doubt a hot topic. And from the looks of the comments section, there are a lot of moms who agree with @itsme_lisap.

“My parents can see my kids. My mother in law cannot because she cannot follow Simple boundaries and is therefore unsafe.”

“You’re doing it the right way momma!”

“Preach girl! I’ve had to cut off my parents. If I have to protect myself from my parents, it’s my job to protect my children as well.”

“I don’t understand how people think boundaries means that you don’t love somebody, you love them enough to work on creating a healthy relationship!”

A version of this story was originally published on June 28, 2023. It has been updated.