TikTok nails the millennial parenting experience when it comes to uninvolved grandparents

Ask any millennial-aged person about their grandparents, and they’ll likely talk about just how much time they spent with them while growing up. Whether we had working parents who needed someone to care for us, or our grandparents just liked having us around and vice versa, many people in their 30s and 40s can say our grandparents played a significant role in our lives.

Another uniquely millennial experience is that for many of us, our own parents aren’t nearly as involved in our kids’ lives as their own parents were in ours. While that’s not true for everyone, of course, it can feel incredibly disappointing and frustrating for a lot of us.

And this viral TikTok NAILS it.

“We’ve gone from a generation of kids who spent every weekend at our grandparents’ house to parents with kids spending every moment with our tiny humans,” the video, posted by TikTok user @brittnievh, is captioned.

The video also states that for many of us, our family is “nowhere to be seen” and can’t be bothered to be part of our village.

“We are our own village. Such a difference between us.”

While my dad is an incredible grandfather and loves my daughters to bits and pieces, he’s certainly not someone who offers to babysit. I always have to ask for those rare occasions when my husband and I get to venture out alone. My mother and my husband’s father are estranged from our family, so it’s just his mom and my dad. Like many parents, we don’t have a nanny and we haven’t had much luck with nailing down a regular sitter.

I don’t believe it’s the job of our parents to watch our children—in fact, I’m a huge proponent of older adults having a life and their own hobbies outside of family. And because my parents had me at a young age, my dad will still be working full-time for another 8-10 years. So I know his time off is well-earned and he is entitled to spend it however he chooses.

But I also know I spent EVERY WEEKEND at my grandparents’ houses. And even my GREAT-GRANDPARENTS’ houses! My parents truly had so much help—the kind of help I’d welcome but know it won’t be possible to ever have.

The comments section of the above video is full of fellow millennials lamenting the differences between our grandparents of yesteryear vs. Boomer grandparents today.

People raising children currently will bring back good grandparents because we’re so hurt for our kids and dont want them feeling alone in parenting

“No village. No help. Just me and my husband. No one is interested.”

“My grandparents raised me so I wouldn’t even expect my parents to know how to watch my child.”

“I have such mixed emotions about this. Like I’m kinda sad for little me who was always sent to grandmas house, but wish todays grandmas helped more.”

“I didn’t realize this was such a thing until now. my mom always says ‘they’re your kids, not mine’ like I just want you to want them like a grandma.”

“When my mother complains that she doesn’t see my son (she’s the one that moved away)and then when she does complains that he has too much energy.”

“My mom said “you’re the only parents that feel raising kids is this hard” because no one helps us!”

While it’s definitely frustrating, it is bittersweet knowing that because of this, many of us will be as involved as we can be when we’re lucky enough to become grandparents.