Mom goes viral after sharing her husband’s problem with the ‘5-5-5’ postpartum rule

A new mom is going viral with her Reddit post about the “555” rule and the boundaries she set after giving birth. Now she wants to know if she was wrong about her postpartum plan, and the response is pretty mixed.

The 26-year-old mom of two explained on Reddit’s “AITA” forum that she wanted to follow a very specific plan after giving birth to her second baby.

“With my first and this pregnancy I made it clear to my husband I wanted to follow the 5-5-5 rule,” she wrote in her post. “He seemed to drag his feet but because he wanted kids more than I did he agreed.”

AITA for refusing to take care of my children?
byu/Throwawayquiter inAmItheAsshole

She explained that the rule means, “First five days ‘In bed.’ Nothing but skin to skin with my daughter, breastfeeding, and resting. Next five days ‘on bed,’” which includes “Sitting up, still breastfeeding, cuddling with baby, doing homework with my son, crossword puzzles etc.” For the last five days, she could be around the bed, “resting but doing light chores, folding laundry, diaper changing, just not standing for more than 30 minutes. All while still, cuddling with baby, breastfeeding baby, doing homework with my son and coloring.”

The redditor’s husband initially agreed, but once the baby arrived, he couldn’t handle it.

“Today he came to me crying saying it was all too much and he couldn’t do this by himself. I reminded him that he agreed to it and I have to go back to work shortly after the 5-5-5 is up,” she wrote. “Our son (5) has started acting out at home due to the stress of the new baby and lack of sleep, we’ve offered him going to my parents next door and he seems interested. We’ve prepared a months worth of freezer meals so for dinner all he has to do is throw the DISPOSABLE tin in the oven and walk away for a few hours. We have a dog he needs to feed and take out on walks with the kids.”

She concluded, “He begged me to help out with our son who will not sit still and help with light cleaning (wiping countertops, gathering clutter into a pile, etc.). I again said no, I am entitled to rest and I will help around the house in eight days.”

The top-voted commented is firmly on this new mom’s side. 

“NTA (not the a**hole),” it reads. “I assume all the stuff that he’s crying about is the stuff that you are going to be expected to do on an ongoing basis after you return to work?”

The mom replied, “Yes, I for the most part so the cooking, cleaning, 90% of the childcare. He mostly just feeds the dog and occasionally walks him.”

Another commenter then asked, “So what bringeth this man to the table, then?”

And that’s a pretty valid point.

Most of the other comments were much more mixed though. While new moms absolutely deserve to rest and recover after giving birth, many people who commented were concerned about this couple’s other son, who seems a little left out of these plans.

“You absolutely deserve to rest – you just had a baby and spend the last 9 months growing that baby. There is absolutely NO reason that your husband can’t step up and help. Also, because you communicated with him prior to the birth and made plans with pre-cooked meals, he had the opportunity to speak up,” one person wrote. “But … your son seems to be struggling; this is a big life change for him. I get you can take him to your parents – but think of it like a 5 year old – mommy just had a new baby and she’s getting rid of me. Your son is still processing and at 5 can’t fully comprehend what all is going on. Your answer is to send him away instead of getting up.”

They added, “Your husband needs to step up, but you also need to make sure your son’s needs are met. He wants his mommy and he shouldn’t be sent away for that.”

Who’s in the wrong here? Which commenters do you agree with?