Why texting back takes 3–5 business days for moms—and the viral video that sums it up

Toddler mom and Instagram creator @allthingsaly13 went viral recently with an Instagram reel that perfectly captures the chaos of modern mom friendships: “When your mom friend’s 10-minute texting window closes, you know you’ll be waiting 3–5 business days for a reply.”

The video, which now has over 8 million views, is equal parts hilarious and painfully relatable. Because as much as moms try to connect, life with kids has a way of derailing even the simplest conversations. Snacks need refilling, tantrums need soothing, and suddenly that heartfelt text thread is left hanging.

But here’s the beautiful thing: the best mom friends get it. They know your silence isn’t distance—it’s just life. And when you finally pick up where you left off, there’s no guilt, no awkwardness. Just a deep, mutual understanding that keeps the friendship alive, no matter how long it’s been.

Why friendship changes after kids (or life changes)

Parenthood, caregiving, career shifts—these big life changes tend to upend even the strongest friendships. Suddenly, time feels like a luxury, and energy for socializing is in short supply.

It’s not about caring less; it’s about having less bandwidth. Kids need attention (constantly), work deadlines loom, and the mental load of just getting through the day can feel like enough to sink you.

But here’s the thing: real friendships adapt. They evolve with you, making space for the messiness of life. The key isn’t perfect communication; it’s being there when it counts.

What makes @allthingsaly13’s video so shareable is how it blends humor and truth. The “10-minute texting window” is too real because we’ve all been there. One second, you’re mid-conversation, and the next? A diaper explosion or a nap crisis has pulled you away, and you can’t come back to it for days.

The comments on her video show just how universal this experience is:

• “Honestly, we just send each other memes now. Who has time for full sentences?”
• “BRB, gotta rescue my kid from climbing the fridge. I’ll reply next week.”
• “The real MVPs are the friends who send a follow-up text without being offended.”

Mom humor isn’t just funny—it’s validating. It says, You’re not failing. You’re just doing your best.

How to strengthen friendships in busy seasons

Even with the chaos, you can keep your friendships strong. Here’s how:

Voice Notes for the Win. Instead of texting, record a quick voice message. It’s faster, more personal, and works even when you’re holding a baby in one hand.

Calendar Those Catch-Ups. Treat friend time like any other priority. Put a coffee date, a phone call, or even a quick FaceTime session on the schedule.

Quality Over Quantity. A five-minute chat that makes you feel connected is worth more than weeks of sporadic “hey, how are you?” texts.

Keep It Light. Send a meme, a funny video, or even a quick “thinking of you” message. Heck, door dash your bestie her favorite breakfast on a morning you know she’s struggling. These tiny gestures keep the connection alive without adding pressure. 

Because the friends who understand your 10-minute window? They’re the ones worth holding onto, no matter how chaotic mom life gets.