“I’m not paying to attend a kid’s party”—Mom’s viral take has parents fired up

A viral Instagram video by @tolufrimpong with over 1.5 million views has parents talking about a surprising trend: asking guests to help pay for kids’ birthday parties. Some parents praised her honesty, while others were stunned that this practice is becoming more common.

“Let’s normalize having birthday celebrations within our budget instead of passing the cost onto other parents. The cost of living is hitting us all.”

Her point? If you decide to throw a birthday party, you should foot the bill. And with inflation making everything from groceries to gas feel like a luxury purchase, the idea of asking other parents to chip in for a party that’s not even for their kid is raising eyebrows.

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A post shared by Tolu Frimpong (@tolufrimpong)

Wait… parents are charging for birthday parties?!

Apparently, yes—at least for some families. Some parents are now asking for cover charges, ticket fees, or even Venmo requests to help pay for extravagant birthday parties at indoor trampoline parks, petting zoos, or play cafes.

One commenter, @moneysavvymumuk, was floored:

“Wait… what!? This is a thing? Are you serious?? I am literally shocked to the core.”

Another, @faithpeace1.0, couldn’t believe the financial burden:

“Pay for entrance and then buy a gift?!?? That’s a firm no.”

It’s one thing to ask guests to bring their own food to a barbecue (reasonable). It’s another to throw a party at an expensive venue and then invoice the parents who show up.

Related: ‘No plastic, no noise, no color’: Mom’s viral birthday party rules spark backlash online

The rising cost of kid parties

Let’s be real—kids’ birthday parties can get expensive fast.

• Indoor play spaces? $300–$500 for a two-hour rental.

• Bowling alleys? $20+ per kid, not including food.

• Trampoline parks? Some charge per child, plus require waivers, extra for socks, and additional costs for arcade tokens.

As kids get older, their birthday expectations often grow, and some parents are feeling the squeeze. One commenter, @ruti18, pointed out: “Those jump places are expensive. And as kids get older, so do their tastes. I have bought packages and still said bring your own money for extras. Kid equivalent to BYOB.”

Sure, party costs can add up, but should the answer really be to pass that bill onto other parents?

The case for keeping birthdays simple

There’s a big difference between splitting costs (like if a group of families plans a shared event) and asking guests to pay for your child’s special day.

Tolu’s stance is simple: stay within your budget. Some years she’s thrown huge parties with 100+ guests, and other years it’s been a movie night and a homemade cake. The key? It’s always been her expense.

Many parents in the comments agreed—kid parties don’t have to be extravagant to be memorable. The nostalgia of backyard birthday parties, homemade scavenger hunts, and DIY sleepovers is real, and they cost far less than today’s over-the-top, Instagram-worthy bashes.

I get it. I’m currently planning my child’s first birthday party, and although I know he’ll have zero memories of this, we want to celebrate with our friends and family. We’re saving costs by having it at our house, but we did rent a party bus play space for the rest of the kids, are getting it catered so we don’t have to worry about food and drink, and even scanned through Etsy for those adorable cupcake toppers with our little one’s face on them. 

It’s already snowballed a little bit more than we originally expected, but gathering everyone to celebrate this year of our life is going to be fun for us too—and hopefully worth the money for the memories. And no, I’m not charging anyone and gifts aren’t even expected.

Related: TikTok mom’s controversial take on birthday parties is raising eyebrows

So… are we paying to party in 2025?

Tolu jokes that after sharing her thoughts, she might be getting fewer birthday invitations next year—but if it means avoiding Venmo requests for every party her kid attends, she’s okay with that.

What do you think? Should parents foot the bill for birthday parties, or is it fair to ask guests to contribute? Let’s discuss.