What would your kid do if they found a gun? IKEA incident proves parents can’t make assumptions

Children are naturally curious—and don’t just ‘know better’ than to touch a gun

Young children are amazingly adept at finding things. Exploring the world is their job, after all. The question is: How would they respond when they find something they shouldn’t—such as a gun?

According to a study from the American Academy of Pediatrics published in 2003, 87% of parents with children aged 5 to 15 believed their children would not touch a gun if they were to come across one. Of those parents, 52% said their children were “too smart” or “knew better,” but only 40% had actually discussed the reasons why they shouldn’t touch a gun with their children.

“By assuming that children could be trusted not to pick up or play with guns because they had been told not to or were ‘too smart’ to do so, parents inadvertently place the burden on children to be responsible for their own safety, rather than the adults in their lives,” the authors said in the discussion.

The conversation about gun safety changes as kids get older

In the 15 years since then, conversations about gun safety have only become more relevant as the issue clearly isn’t going away. And in a country where there are nearly as many firearms as there are people , that means parents don’t only need to have conversations about firearm safety with their kids, but also with each other.

Hunter says it’s never too early to start the discussion—both with kids and among other adults. Particularly among toddlers, even those who’ve been instructed not to touch a gun, studies have shown that they typically first play with the gun before informing an adult.

“The responsibility needs to be on us as responsible adults to safely store any firearms we chose to bring into our homes,” says Hunter, explaining that means storing locked and unloaded firearms separately from locked ammunition. “With toddlers, it’s a lot harder to say, ‘Just don’t touch it. Ask an adult.’ Because time and time again we’ve seen the research has shown this just doesn’t work.”

Although the conversation can shift as children get older and more responsible, safe storage should always remain a priority for gun-owners.

Asking other parents may feel awkward—but the alternative is worse

According to the 2010 C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital National Poll on Children’s Health, firearm safety had been a topic of discussion among 82% of gun-owning parents and their children—but only for 52% of parents who are not gun owners. At the same time, one-in-four parents who didn’t own a gun was “very worried” that their child could get injured by a gun in another family’s home. This underlines the importance of discussing gun security with the owners of any home your child is entering, the premise of the ASK (Asking Saves Kids) Campaign .

“We need to introduce into the lexicon having this conversation among each other as adults,” says Hunter. “When I was a kid, asking about things like swimming pools or wearing seat belts in cars was a very awkward conversation. They’ve now become much easier.”

She says that it may even help to acknowledge it’s an awkward conversation, as well as to let the other parent know that their answer doesn’t mean your children cannot be friends, only that you may have different guidelines about where your children can play. “I think this is something that we often kind of take for granted, like, ‘Oh, our friends are probably like-minded,'” Hunter says. “Unless you ask the question… how do you know?”