2021 was notable for, well, a lot of reasons, but certainly among them was the resurgence of Bennifer. When Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck rekindled their romance after nearly two decades, after having called off their engagement in 2002 (remember this ring?!), the internet collectively swooned. There’s basically nothing better than a celeb couple from the aughts giving love another shot. The nostalgia alone is a gold mine. 

Now, Lopez and Affleck are navigating their new relationship—with their combined five kids in tow. 

“”I’ve never been better,” the 52-year-old star tells People. “It’s just that we’re all in a very beautiful moment.” Before reaching this place, it seems that Lopez has learned some life and love lessons along the way—ones she’s now passing down to her kids, 13-year-old twins, Emme and Max, whom she shares with ex-husband Marc Anthony. 

“I’m always trying to let them know how much I love them and that loving yourself is so important,” Lopez tells People. She stresses that healthy relationships start with the one you have with yourself. “I want [the kids] to know where I got to very recently: If you’re good on your own, you really can have a beautiful relationship,” she says. “But until then, you’re probably going to struggle through it and try to find it.” Pretty solid advice for kids and adults of any age. 

Affleck has three kids of his own with former wife Jennifer Garner: Violet, 16, Seraphina, 13 and Samuel, 9, and sources say all five kids are super close, looking out for one another, and even heading out for trick-or-treating together last Halloween

Parenting in a blended family can present its own challenges—and even though her twins aren’t little anymore, Lopez is making sure she still acknowledges all their feelings. “Everybody is growing up, they’re not babies anymore, so you can’t just take them on your lap and tell them it’s going to be okay,” she says, adding that she’s trying to consistently communicate the importance of “Little key things like your thoughts create your life so to think positive, that all their feelings are okay and that people should always treat you well, and you’re not a victim to anybody… Things you want them to know so they can be in good, healthy relationships with their friends, and then when they finally fall in love with somebody.”

Lopez’ throughline is that a healthy relationship of any kind starts with love. “I honestly believe love rules all [and] love always conquers everything—relationships, kids, work, work relationships,” she says. “It’s all about how loving, open and accepting you can be. Not having an ego about things and just embracing all the good, always looking at the positive. When you’re in a good, healthy relationship, everybody benefits from that. Everybody.”