Dad of 2 young kids admits he and his wife sleep separately—the trend is growing 

When Rabeeh Moudallal, a family and lifestyle creator on Instagram, posted a video about sleeping separately from his wife since having kids, parents everywhere felt that in their souls. The video, which has now racked up over 1.5 million views, sheds light on a reality many couples experience but rarely talk about: sometimes, the best way to survive the baby and toddler years is to sleep in separate rooms.

“It’s not a relationship problem—it’s a survival strategy”

In the video, Moudallal explains how he sleeps on a mattress in his toddler’s room to keep her from waking the baby, while his wife takes shifts with their infant. Their nighttime conversations? Reduced to texts from different rooms. 

“Since having our second baby, it feels like we’ve just adopted one kid each,” he says, summing up what so many parents go through in the early years.

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The comments section = A whole support group

If you thought this setup was rare, think again. The comment section exploded with parents sharing their own experiences.

• @lucywestlake92: “I always say to hubby, we’ve got years to be together, the kids need us at the moment. It won’t be forever ☺️” 
• @thebreastfeedingmentor: “We’re allllllll in the same boat, hun! (But not the same bed!) 😅”
• @thebirthuprising: “We play music beds most nights. I remember being really scared as a kid at night and knowing I wasn’t allowed to get out of bed so just used to lay awake frightened. Never wanted that for my kids, they know they can sleep wherever they feel safe. It changes night to night, we are all cool with it ❤️”
• @saltanat.bora: “I’ve had five kids over 12 years and have slept separately the entire time. Making sure everyone gets sleep is absolutely a priority. It helps with managing toddlers/babies, sick kids etc. But clearly, it’s not the ‘natural contraception’ you think it is bc here we are, five kids later 🤣🤣” 

Some parents say they haven’t slept in the same bed for years, while others swear by a giant family bed. A few lucky ones manage to keep their kids in separate rooms, but most admit to playing “musical beds” throughout the night.

Related: One mama’s scientific case for co-sleeping

Why parents are doing this (and why it makes sense)

Sleeping separately was once seen as a relationship red flag. Now, it’s just reality for exhausted parents. With little structural support—like paid parental leave and affordable childcare—parents are left figuring out what works for them.

And the reality is, sleep deprivation is no joke. Studies show that parents of young children can lose up to six years of quality sleep, and fragmented rest can impact everything from mental health to work performance. 

The trend is growing:

• A 2023 survey from the American Academy of Sleep Medicine found that 35% of U.S. adults report sleeping in separate rooms at some point to improve sleep.
• The term “sleep divorce,” referring to couples who choose separate sleeping arrangements to improve sleep quality, has gained attention in recent years. A 2023 survey by the Sleep Foundation found that 1.4% of U.S. adults sleep separately from their partners, and 52.9% of those individuals reported improved sleep quality as a result.

Experts say the key isn’t where you sleep, but how rested you feel. Dr. Wendy Troxel, a sleep expert and author of Sharing the Covers, explains: “Couples need to reframe sleep as a health necessity, not a measure of relationship success. If separate sleeping improves well-being, it can actually strengthen a partnership.”

“This won’t last forever”

Perhaps the most reassuring message in the comments? This phase is temporary.

As @lucywestlake92 put it: “I always say to hubby, we’ve got years to be together, the kids need us at the moment. It won’t be forever.”

Whether you’re texting your spouse from another room, sandwiched between a toddler and a baby, or fully embracing the family bed—know this: you’re not alone. And if it works for your family, it works.

Related: Viral dad explains why he’s woken up early for 3 years with his kids while his wife sleeps in

Sources:

1. Long-term effects of pregnancy and childbirth on sleep satisfaction. National Library of Medicine. Long-term effects of pregnancy and childbirth on sleep satisfaction and duration of first-time and experienced mothers and fathers.
2. Over a third of Americans opt for a “sleep divorce”. American Academy of Sleep Medicine. Over a third of Americans opt for a “sleep divorce”.
3. Fewer Than 2% Of Adults Are in a Sleep Divorce. But Do They Sleep Better? The Sleep Foundation. Fewer Than 2% Of Adults Are in a Sleep Divorce. But Do They Sleep Better?