Khloe Kardashian says she was ‘depressed and sad every single day’ until her son was born

During the most recent episode of “The Kardashians” on Hulu, Khloe Kardashian admits that she had a hard time with her mental health during her son’s pregnancy. Khloe, who welcomed her son via surrogate back in July, opened up about the “trauma” she suffered as a result of Tristan Thompson’s infidelity.

“Ever since December, it’s been this dark cloud looming over me,” she explains during an emotional confessional. “Every single day, I’ve been feeling depressed and sad, and now that my son is here, I get to move on, and I get to enjoy. It’s almost like I get to close that chapter and be done with this trauma and put it behind me.”

The season one finale of “The Kardashians” ended with Khloe finding out that her on-again, off-again partner, Tristan Thompson (with whom she was very much “on again” while they opted to conceive their second child) was expecting a baby with another woman. Heartbreakingly, Khloe says the embryo transfer occurred just days before the news broke that he’d been unfaithful. Again.

During the season two premiere, Khloe talks about how difficult it was to not only learn that Thompson had cheated on her, but that he knew he had impregnated someone else and never told her. All while they were hoping to have a second child of their own together.

“It’s such a dark cloud around something that’s supposed to be so joyous,” Khloe says in the premiere. “I was definitely very angry, and I think feeling bamboozled. In hindsight, he always knew when the other baby was being born, and especially getting the paperwork that we saw. He found out July 2, so he did know.”

Related: Khloé Kardashian is expecting her second baby with Tristan Thompson

Khloe’s surrogate underwent the embryo transfer in November of last year, and in December she found out she was expecting the couple’s son. She admits she was also very worried about the public criticism she would face once the news broke that she and Thompson were having a child shortly after he was expecting a child with someone else.

“It’s so close I wouldn’t want anyone to think I did this after the fact,” she says. “Why would I want to have a baby with someone who’s having a baby with someone else? Because I’m not that much of a sociopath. I’m a lunatic. I’m not deranged.”

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Khloe also admitted that the stress she endured during the final weeks of her first pregnancy with daughter True caused her to go into labor a few weeks early—that was the first time she found out Thompson had been unfaithful. She says she was really concerned about all the publicity surrounding her son’s existence, and how it would impact him in the future.

“I don’t think kids should be talked about in that way, and you just want to protect this innocent being that had nothing to do with this and I just don’t want any of that energy around my kids,” she explains.

Related: Khloé Kardashian on why she’s committed to co-parenting with Tristan Thompson

Thankfully, with the support of her family and taking the time to process her feelings, Khloe says she’s finally healing and ready to embrace her life as a mother of two, despite the chaos surrounding his conception and gestation.

“Now I finally get to start the healing process. Now I get to start enjoying my life with two kids in it and figuring this out,” she says. “This is gonna be day one, and this is gonna be the start of something positive, and happy and beautiful.”