Ireland Baldwin gets real about her postpartum body: ‘This isn’t a contest’

Ireland Baldwin, who became a first-time mama earlier this month after welcoming daughter Holland with her partner André Allen Anjos (also known as RAC), is getting real about new motherhood and her journey to get there.

Baldwin, who has been open about her intense struggles with anxiety in recent years, shared a lengthy Instagram post about her experience with pregnancy and her new postpartum life.

“I really struggled in my pregnancy as many of us do,” she writes. “Not just by puking everywhere. I don’t miss that. As someone who suffers tremendously from health anxiety, pregnancy shifted everything into overdrive.”

She says she hopes to help anyone else out there who may be struggling with their anxiety while pregnant, and as a result may be worried about mom life. Baldwin says she worried constantly while pregnant with Holland.

“Was my shower too hot? Am I crying too much? Why am I crying again? Do my feet look swollen? Am I even going to make a good mother?”

Related: Ireland Baldwin says ‘pregnancy is hard’—especially when dealing with ‘idiots as family’

She says reading about “countless pregnancy horror stories” and watching intense birth videos made her even more anxious about labor and delivery. She said it all changed the moment her daughter was born.

“Nothing ever mattered until that moment,” she wrote. “I found it quite sad how women would go out of their way to tell me what was going to happen to my body. How a baby would negatively impact my relationship. How my body would fall apart. My tits would sag to my knees. How I’ll never sleep again.

“Our bodies are different,” she continues. “No one ‘wins.’ This isn’t a contest.”

She says that everyone’s experiences with pregnancy and delivery are unique, and we can’t compare someone else’s story with how we think our own experiences will unfold.

Related: Hilary Duff’s simple, powerful honesty: ‘Pregnancy is hard’

“The delivery was intense but I’ve been in worse pain,” she said “She was born. My fears fled. My heart was full. I’ve fallen in love again for a second time. I’ve lost loads of sleep but I couldn’t care less.”

Baldwin acknowledged that she’s still adjusting to her postpartum body—and her new “Pam Andersons,” but she’s happy about it. “I would birth her 100 more times if I had to,” she writes.

Bottom line? Don’t listen to the noise around you if you find it unhelpful.

“Don’t let people tell you how it’s going to be,” she says. “Life is scary and unpredictable and this process was terrifying but it’s the greatest thing I’ve ever done and ever will do. Don’t let people scare you.”