Dear Meghan Markle: In-laws are pretty amazing, even when they’re not royalty

Dear Ms. Markle,

I want to extend my congratulations and warm wishes for your upcoming wedding. You’re what my little girl dreams are made of—an American becoming a princess?! It’s so exciting and well, interesting to me (and seemingly millions of other people, too…)

And while it is SO exciting to speculate on what your dress will look like and find out more about the seriously cute kiddos in your wedding party (like voluntarily-waking-up-at-5am-to-watch-it level of excitement), it is also a sacred moment for you as you marry the love of your life, and two families merge.

I’m so sorry your father won’t be in attendance. I know that must be heart-wrenching. I read this morning that your soon-to-be father-in-law will be walking you down the aisle and I thought to myself, I hope this is the first of many times her in-laws step up to the plate like mine have.

You see, I quite literally am writing this as my own father-in-law folds the mountain of laundry we haven’t been able to get to all week. And as my mother-in-law changes sheets that my toddler had an accident on. I have lucked out so tremendously in the in-law department—and I hope the same for you.

Although I know we’re not friends, I wanted to write you to tell you I have found accepting my spouse’s family as my own—imperfections and all—has been one of the most wonderful things my marriage has brought me. A union of your lives is ultimately the blending of two families, two pasts, two futures. It is the official welcoming of these people into your heart and into your “village.”

(Also, I just feel like now is a natural moment to let you know I am available to be friends, in case you are in the market for one…)

Leaning on your in-laws and not just your own parents starts now—and will likely ramp up should you and Prince Harry decide to have children (which seems like it’s something you’re planning on based on your first interview together that we all watched like this .)

And I hope you can turn to them as you navigate the sometimes murky but oftentimes beautiful waters of parenthood. Because if there is anything I’ve learned in the past four years of mom life it is that you need support, you need help, and you need your people.

So I hope that’s something you inherit, along with gorgeous crowns and stuff, as you become part of the royal family.

I hope that you can turn to your in-laws for advice when you don’t know how to deal with a toddler who’s not staying in their bed at night.

I hope you can turn to your in-laws when you’re flat-out exhausted and they can say, “Honey, I’ve been there. This too shall pass.”

I hope you can turn to your in-laws when you want your children to learn more about their heritage and lineage and who they are and what it means to be apart of your family.

I hope you can turn to your in-laws when things feel overwhelming and out of control and they’ll be for you, in whatever way you need them to, in a heartbeat.

I hope you can turn to your in-laws when you miss home, and you wish your family was closer. When you want your own mom and dad, but they are miles away.

And you are also inheriting a brother and sister-in-law, too. And they’re already parents. With welcoming their third royal cutie in April, I’d say they’re seasoned pros at this point.

I hope you can confide in your siblings-in-law if and when someone says something weird about your parenting style or prints something rude about what you name your future baby (goodness knows the world has had a lot to say about George, Charlotte and Louis). If critiques have you upset, I hope they’re there to comfort and reassure you.

I hope Kate Middleton gives you all her best pregnancy and postpartum tips, including—for you—maybe a first photo dress recommendation? (Although, If you need postpartum yoga recs, I’m your woman. I was serious about being your friend if you’re interested.)

I hope you can turn to Kate or Will (first-name basis now that we’re friends) when the baby won’t take a bottle and you have to be away from them on business and you’re not sure what to do.

I hope you can turn to them when you doubt yourself and your abilities as a ‘mum.’ We hope they cheer you on and give you the encouragement you need. We all need that every once in a while.

I hope, in the end, that your soon-to-be husband’s family truly feel like your family one day. I don’t know that this happens right away for any couple; it’s something that happens over time.

What I can say is that marriage and parenting are not easy. They both require work and partnership and collaboration. They both are incredibly fulfilling and inspiring and very much worth everything you give them.

But you need your village. And this family you’re inheriting is part of your village now. I hope you can lean on them from this day forward—for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you all part.

Congratulations!

You might also like:

• The royal baby has a name!
• You don’t have to look like Kate Middleton after giving birth to be a queen
• The Royal wedding is kid-friendly and we’re here for it