To the mid-30s mama—our time is now

1. I’m more confident the older I get

The young me cowered at the thought of failure—like the time I bowed out of running that half-marathon in my 20s because I never thought my legs could cross that finish line. But today, if I want something, I go after it.

What do I have to lose?

Now, as a writer, I feel empowered to submit pieces of my work without fear of rejection. When I get a pass from an editor, I simply shrug it off and pursue another.

And I don’t second-guess my parenting choices anymore. I know I make the best decisions for my own children, and I don’t care what society has to say about them.

2. I can (and should) speak up

When I was younger, I never would have told someone if they had offended me. In the workplace especially, I’d keep my lips ironed shut. The thought of conflict made me squeamish, but now, I know that it is vital in all solid relationships. So, today, if you tick me off, you’re going to know.

The best part about this lesson is that I get to teach this to my children, too. In life, it’s vital that they learn to speak up for themselves in all different types of scenarios.

3. I’m grateful for my mistakes

Without the blunders of my youth (okay, and even the ones from yesterday), how would I learn and grow? Yes, sometimes I regret the mistakes of my 20s (like all of those failed classes in my undergrad), but I now know that they are a part of who I am today.

Those failures are lessons learned in what hard work means to me now, where my determination comes from and why I am now pursuing second grad degree. Honestly, failure has helped me flourish as a woman—and a mother. Whenever I make a mistake, even a parenting mistake, I own it. I talk openly to my children about it so that they understand that mistakes will only make you stronger.

(Plus, most of those mistakes were pretty fun. 😉)

4. I have nothing to prove

When I was younger, I needed the constant encouragement from teachers, my parents and even my husband. But not anymore. I’m noticing I don’t care as much about other people’s opinions as I get older—I have found a comfort and a confidence in myself. I am at ease with where I am in my life, and I am chasing my dreams because I want to, not because I want to impress anyone.

Same goes for motherhood. I don’t have to feed my children all-organic or have them sleeping through the night by six months of age. I don’t have to prove that I am a “perfect mother”—because I’m not. My imperfect mothering is perfect for my kids.

5. I’m better at finding balance

I don’t rush toward the buzz of those reckless nights anymore like I used to. I spent so many nights in loud bars and hanging out with people I didn’t even care for. Today, however, I often settle for the comfort and relaxation the corner of our couch offers me. I know that as a mother I need this balance now more than ever. There are days when I need time away from my loving children, and that’s okay.

(But don’t forget, you’re never too old to chase the occasional wild night, too. You just may pay for it a little more the next day. 😜)

6. I focus on what matters

In my 20s , I found myself giving my time and efforts to everyone and anyone who asked for them—even those who didn’t necessarily give back. But today, I put my energy into relationships where we nourish each other. I don’t waste my time messing around with people who live negatively or who drain me emotionally. Instead, I spend time with those who challenge me, love me despite my flaws, and support me. Usually, this focus is zeroed in on my children, because right now, being a mother is what matters the most.

I am a woman. Of course, I wish that my boobs were still perky and that my hair color was a sleek dark brown. But I can’t escape aging—no one can. Despite all of the eye creams, hair dye, and push-up bras that I buy, I am going to look older—no matter what.

So instead of focusing on all of that nonsense, I’m going to take care of my body by working it, but only because I want to stick around this magical life with these magnificent people for as long as I can.