To the mama who doesn’t think she’s ready for two under two

To the mama who doesn’t think she’s prepared for two under two,

I see you. I see your nervousness intertwined with joy. I see the bittersweetness that consumes your thoughts—because while you are celebrating the new life that is to come, you are simultaneously mourning the loss of what was.

Of only having to worry about one baby—all the diaper changes and sleepless nights and periodic monthly checkups. Of having the time filled with just the two of you. 

Related: Having 2 kids under 2 was completely different from what I expected 

But now, you are preparing to make room for another baby while your current child has barely even touched the cusp of toddlerhood. 

A whirlwind of emotions consumes you—and you feel guilty.

Guilty because you feel like you barely got to enjoy your only child. Guilty because you feel like you’re interrupting the time that your infant got to spend with you before becoming a sibling—and you have no idea how they will welcome another baby. Guilty because you have no idea how this new journey is going to change the fabric of your motherhood narrative.

Guilty because just when you were starting to feel like yourself again, just when the fog of the newborn days seemed to be lifting, you are preparing to go through it all over again. The pregnancy. The worrying. The morning sickness. The pure exhaustion.

Related: What I wish I knew about being a mom of two

And as much as you know you will love any life that you create, you’re just not sure if now is the time for another baby—because you don’t feel ready.

You question how you’ll manage a newborn and a child who is barely a toddler. You wonder if you’ll have enough to give to the both of them—enough time, enough attention, enough love. 

As much as you know that you’ll care for them with every fiber of your being, you question if you’ll do a good enough job of raising two under two.

You never imagined that you’d be a mom of two under two—but here you are.

The mom guilt seeps in and takes over. Because as your heart is making room for another baby, you wonder if you are depriving your current one. You tell yourself that it’s not fair to them. That they won’t solely have your attention anymore. And as you form a new life inside of you, you’re already less available because of the exhaustion that overwhelms you.

Now you have to adjust to an entirely different journey of having two under two—with two sets of hands, two sets of feet and two sets of needs.

Related: The transition to becoming a mom of two is beautiful—but also hard

You never imagined that you’d be a mom of two under two—but here you are. It’s scary, beautiful and unpredictable. 

Because all you can think about is how you’ll be carrying a fresh new baby in your arms while your infant is yearning for your attention.

All you can think about is how you’ll be even more sleep deprived than before. Yet you’ll still make an attempt to get up for those babies every single day and shower them in the tender love that they need.

I see you questioning if you can do it, if you’ll be good enough—but mama, you are so much stronger than you know.

Related: You can’t be a perfect mother. So be a ‘good enough’ mother.

On this new journey, there will be much to learn—and much to unlearn. But guaranteed, your mama instincts will lead you in the right direction. Your babies will grow up having each other.

And everything will double in size—your patience, your understanding and your love.  

It may seem hard right now as you prepare for two under two—and the cloud of uncertainty that is looming over you may seem like it will never go away. But mama, you are stronger than you know—and you don’t have to feel ready to be the most amazing mother that your kids deserve.

Chin up, mama. You were made to conquer even the hardest things—even becoming a mom of two under two.

A version of this story was originally published on Oct. 17, 2022. It has been updated.