To my wife—thank you for breastfeeding our child

Hey ‘Mama’—

I know that may sound weird coming from me, but as far as I’m concerned—you’ve earned the title. You are the best mother I’ve ever seen. It’s truly humbling to watch you do what you do.

And I wanted to tell you that.

I want to acknowledge that in this moment—right now.

So, here I am, sitting in the kitchen while our little one sleeps in her crib and you’re curled up on the couch. I just wanted to tell you the amazing things I’ve witnessed over the last few weeks.

The way you’ve nurtured our babies is inspiring.

The way you nurtured her while she was inside you is proof of the love you would show her during her birth. Watching my wife give birth made me beyond proud of you and your resolve.

Now, watching you feed her in the early hours of the morning—I am in awe. In awe of you and your unwavering dedication to our child.

Thank you for being such a great mom. You always go above and beyond—and I see that. I hope you know that.

The way you’ve taken on breastfeeding like a champ has me beaming with pride.

Watching you breastfeed our daughter has given me a greater appreciation for the bond between a mother and child.

I love our little girl to pieces and believe it or not, I can’t do anything like that. I’ve tried…but no dice.

Related: It’s science: Breastfeeding can deepen mom’s bond with baby—for years to come

The way your body made colostrum and then changed to adjust to the needs of the baby is proof that you are absolutely the best mother for our baby. Your body really is amazing—in every true sense of the word. Thank you for trusting it to do the best thing for her.

But to be completely clear—if something happens and you can’t feed her as long as you like, it’s fine with me. Completely. I am here to support you 100%. There is no road map in life that doesn’t change the route on you every once in a while. We’ll always do the best we can for her and each other. We just try our best, babe. That’s what we do every day.

The way you’ve dealt with roadblocks is impressive.

Like when you told that restaurant manager off for asking you to nurse elsewhere. I’m sorry he was such a jerk. You were right to tell him what you thought of his labeling your feeding our child a “distraction for other guests.” (For crying out loud!)

Or like the pain of cracked nipples. Now, I may not know what that feels like, but I don’t imagine it’s a walk in the park. Let me get some nipple cream from the store for you if you need it. Just tell me what kind to get, and I’m on it.

Related: 10 breastfeeding products our editors are obsessed with

Or like getting her to latch properly. Listen, I get frustrated figuring out which fire alarm needs a new battery (bloody incessant beeping!), please know I can’t imagine the pressure of having a baby scream and not being able to get her to latch. I hope I don’t put any additional pressure on you at all. I think you are doing great and we are figuring it out together, one day at a time.

Or like being awake at all hours of the night feeding our girl when you haven’t slept. I feel kind of helpless when it comes to this. I know doing the dishes and taking care of the house helps, but it is incomparable to what you are doing. I promise to encourage naps whenever possible!

You don’t let these roadblocks stop you. You are so strong.

The way you’ve been open and honest with me makes me feel so connected to you and to our baby.

Thank you for talking to me when you’ve felt uncomfortable or overwhelmed. There is nothing wrong with these feelings, and honestly, your emotional state and the way you are feeling is top of mind for me right now. I want to know where you are.

I know everyone expects new mothers to be doing back flips while breastfeeding and simultaneously blogging about how great the new coffee/yoga place up the street is. Being a food source is hard work and it can at times be thankless.

But, I hope this is not one of those times.

So, I wanted to say—thank you, honey.

Thank you for giving your entire body over to this process. Thank you for being up all these nights with her, nursing her, literally giving her a little bit of life every time you do. And thank you most of all for letting me be a part of it—to be her father and to be your partner.

You amaze me. Every day.

And, PS: Wake me up if you need me. Just because I am snoring doesn’t mean I am not here for you. Just give me a minute if I don’t know where I am…

Love,

Your husband

A version of this post was published August 3, 2017. It has been updated.

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