Self-care looks different for everyone and that’s OK

We hear all the time that moms should “make self-care a priority,” which seems impossible when we are also trying to figure out motherhood.

Sometimes, we get so caught up in what we need to prioritize that it can feel like a tug of war between all of the things we are constantly juggling. The “mom guilt” definitely adds some negative pressure as well. It wasn’t until I made the intention to make a conscious effort to figure out what I needed in my current phase of life that I was better able to take care of my needs. I had to dig deeper into what it truly meant to take care of myself.

Self-care looks different for everyone. For me, it wasn’t taking an hour away from the children, nor was it taking some time away to get my nails done or get a massage. It was more of how I was feeling mentally—the words that I projected onto myself when things seemed overwhelming. It was more of how I was feeding my body, so I can feel my best physically. I stopped myself from measuring my value based on how much I did in a day, and how many activities I did with my children.

I had to figure out what worked for me in my current phase of life so, I started to journal. I made note of what was bothering me, but in a way that I was affirming myself that everything was going to be OK. I made sure that I was validating myself. I also started to write my own words of affirmations, which gave me the confidence to publish my book. I began reading books in different genres in order to set a goal for myself, and to improve myself as an individual. 

 Then, I realized that I needed some mental stimulation. I needed an outlet to feel like myself again, outside of being a caretaker of my home. This was especially true when I took a break from running my private practice, after finding out I was pregnant with my third child I had to be OK with the changes that were happening in my life and embrace them with openness. I had to understand that this journey of motherhood is a blessing but also a way to grow in areas that I never knew that I needed.

I want other moms to know that you are not alone, in trying to figure how to put yourself and your family first. I know it can seem impossible to do both at the same time. It can be exhausting and mentally draining trying to figure out this journey of motherhood.

It can be hard to make the intention to figure out what you need. It can bring a flood of emotions, which happened for me. Just by taking that first step and making the intention I got through it, and I know you can too. The same way we find the ambition to get that new promotion or figure out how to redesign our kitchen, we can also find the ambition and motivation to figure out the little things that we need to take care of ourselves on a deeper level. 

Your version of self-care does not have to be a major thing or cost money. It can be as simple as taking a few minutes to journal, reading your favorite book or taking a walk every weekend to help ground yourself. Do not fall into the modern definition that self-care takes money, because I know sometimes I don’t have a budget for certain things. 

Self-care looks different for me, and it’ll look different for you too because everyone has their own needs. In order for me to make these changes, I had to really find the motivation and the discipline to figure out what worked for me. We can all do it! It just takes that one baby step!