To the postpartum mama: You’re doing a fantastic job

The postpartum stage can be frightening… can’t it? It oftentimes brings about endless thoughts and feelings that you can’t seem to get a hold of. Sometimes, you begin to wonder if you’re doing this motherhood thing right. Between trying to figure out what works best for you and gathering tips and advice from other parents, you fall into the rabbit hole of comparing, overthinking and worrying about every decision that you make for your child. And it can become cumbersome. Tiring. Heavy.

But so many mothers all over the world get it. So many mothers have their own stories and experiences of just how mentally heavy the postpartum stage can be. Of how they struggled with wondering if they were doing good enough—or if they were doing it right at all. Of how they fought to overcome their self-doubts and realize that they were doing the best they absolutely could. And that’s what matters most.

(We created women-centered digital classes that meet you exactly where you are—like The Postpartum Wellness Class.)

The Postpartum Wellness Class

$15

Congratulations, you are a mama! This course will help you navigate the first few weeks of parenthood!

Shop

Every mother, at some point in her postpartum experience, goes through this whirlwind of emotions that aimlessly runs through her mind. This mama just about nails them all, but in the end, reminds mamas everywhere that they are doing an amazing job.

Related: You don’t need to lie to me about motherhood

“What you weren’t prepared for;

Overthinking absolutely everything.

Constantly second guessing yourself.

Self doubt and opinions overriding your intuition.

Hearing what someone else is doing with their bub—be it related to sleep / settling / feeding / solids / health, you name it—and wondering if you should try the same (even if what you’re doing seems be working just fine)—but god, if it’s not working then you’ll try it all.

Related: To the mamas in the comparison trap: Remember kids get there in their own time

Comparing yourself to other parents and your baby to other babies, even though you remind yourself not to. You know it’s unhelpful, but you can’t help it.

The feeling of anxiousness when making plans or leaving the house—will your baby sleep now, or on the way, or on arrival, or on the way home, or not at all? What is the night ahead now going to look like? Now you’re worried about that, and tomorrow.

Because behind the lens of every cute baby photo posted on here, is a parent worrying about one thing or another (or a million.)

Will they feed okay? Do you feed them now, or before you leave, or when you get there? Will you wing it on the boob? Or take a bottle with you too?

Worrying about what other people see when they see you parent—is that a bottle? Are you still breastfeeding? Oh, but are you breastfeeding in public? Are you giving formula? Is that a wine?

Related: My postpartum anxiety might be invisible to you—but it’s very real to me

Worrying about what people think of you as a parent—are you too helicopter? Are you too relaxed? Are you seeming like you’ve got everything together? Do you look okay/rested/haggard?

The attachment ot breastfeeding and the fear of introducing formula and seeing this as failure. Even if it means a happier, healthier, less stressed mumma (and partner) and of course a happier bub.

Recovery taking >6 weeks. Who actually came up with that number? What even is recovery? Bouncing back? Wounds healed? Which ones—physical or perhaps any psychological birth / postpartum trauma?

Related: Postpartum trauma made me resent not breastfeeding

Overthinking absolutely everything.

Missed any?

Also—I’m well and good. Just sharing the realities of this wild rollercoaster or being a mama. Because behind the lens of every cute baby photo posted on here, is a parent worrying about one thing or another (or a million)—and if you’re feeling like this, that’s okay. You’re not alone and you’re doing a fantastic job.”

A version of this story was originally published on March 31. It has been updated.